I was going to work on this yesterday but didn’t even complete the set up before being distracted. I thought I would put something up in case I should die before completion.
In July this year I had a bicycle wreck on the 4th day of RAGBRAI. I was riding along thinking of breakfast, then I was in a CAT scan machine being told to hold my breath. I have no memory of the wreck or transportation to the hospital. The result of the scan was a list of body problems – small brain bleed, spots in lungs, gall stones, two hernias, advanced arthritis of little finger joint. Lordy, I’d better get crackin if I’m to finish up any of my projects before the next life.
On reflection I thought my accident would have been an excellent way to leave this world. One second you are happily enjoying life, the next – gone.
I have a new sculpture started. I got one ear on then was measuring the location of the other ear when the devil distraction grabbed my finely working sculpting hand while whispering in my ear: “Hold on now, we could design a measuring tool to make these measurements much better.”
I’m only waiting for a few more parts to complete the machine. While I’m waiting perhaps I should return to the automatic porch swing project?
Now with my pseudo near death experience I’m wondering how much I could get accomplished if there is life after death that lasts for an entire eternity.
Here are a few areas I might possibly clean up, assuming, of course, there are no distractions in heaven.
1. Finish this donkey piece
2. Learn how to move a quarter back and forth across my knuckles. That YouTube video made it look so easy. To date I have lost $3.75 in quarters in the sofa. It’s like someone waxed all my quarters. Slippery little buggers.
3. Learn to spell sizzors and remember it. Ya ya I know it is not right here. What can I do? Spell check doesn’t work for shit. I daren’t go back to the neighbor to ask again. I can hear her now, “WTF, I TOLD you already, why didn’t you write it down?” “Er, um, thought I’d remember it.” “You moron, don’t set foot on my yard again!”
4. Learn to play one single tune on my guitar at a metronome rate greater than 30.
5. Learn anger managment – stop throwing metronome against the wall. It is not it’s fault, it is those useless hands not paying any attention to what my brain is telling them.
6. Get better command of the Spanish language. For example, asking the cleaning lady to swallow a lamp instead of bringing it to me. You have to be real careful which words you use I guess.
7. Well you get the idea. I could go on with a very large list. After all, eternity gives you some leeway to lay about. There would be no real benefit to completing this list here as I’m certain there will be distractions in heaven. I would be lucky if they didn’t get to me before I finished 1 and 2. An issue with eternity for those of us prone to procrastination – how do you know when 1/2 of eternity has passed? That is a marker I will be needing to whip me into action.
I was going to work a bit after posting this but it is too dark (stormy) to work so….. A RANT
Our political system has been working poorly for quite some time. Recent “debates” with that squinty eyed twit, Trump, have yellow highlighted a breakdown in the election process.
None of the candidates offer any information as to what their approach would be to the problems of the country. They ignore valid questions seeking information and reply with useless shit like, “I’ll hire experts – it will be great. They will love me.”, “Who wants a face like that for president?”, “I want people who believe it the constitution!” “I’ll repeal Obamacare.”
After two “debates” (in which useless, childish behavior is enabled by the media) I challenge you to pick out any candidate and give at least an outline of his/her plan for any issue. Without that information how can you make a reasonable choice of a representative of the country? If Trump and his apparent majority of moronic minions gets it, we will be up there with North Korea, and a few of those African countries for having the biggest idiot leader in the world.
If CNN, et al really wanted to get some useful insights into the candidates here is a reasonable and workable approach. Have all candidates in separate areas where they can not see or hear what other candidates say. Ask them one by one a series of real questions on what they would do for each of the major areas of federal government responsibilities. Only allow responses that are appropriate to the question. If a candidate mentions another candidate or ducks the question, cut them off air.
I for one am tired of hearing attacks on other candidates, their past performance, current looks, etc. We need to hear what the future will be, not what the past has been. Recall that one candidate emphatically stated he would repeal every line of Obamacare. Not a peep about how he would offer health insurance to millions who need it.
If I were king I would also not allow any negative campaign ads on radio, news, or TV. Tell us what you will do not what someone else has done that you didn’t like.
Currently we are led to pick the candidate that has the least shit to find in their background rather than one with the best ideas.
Ok, I’m done. I’ll have a short nap then right back to that ear. I swear I’ll have it done by the end of the month. All I need is an alarm to tell me when half of that time has passed.