By WR Jones
Red, White, and Blue
oil on linen
11″ x 14″
I need to do the figurative stop and smell the roses routine to get my blood pressure back down to below “Blow Out” range. Yesterday I tried to install a new shower fixture. It would not thread into the wall coupling. I thought of calling a plumber but then thought what if I pay him $100 and he tells me this new shower arm is defective. Instead I called the shower stuff dealer and asked for an exchange. She emailed me a return shipping label.
When I tried to print the label I got a message that I couldn’t print until I installed a new ink cartridge. It said I needed a Cyan cartridge and wouldn’t print black and white until I replaced it. First off I never print in color so where did the Cyan go? Secondly, you bastards, why can’t I print black and white? I drove 20 miles to Walmart to get ink. They wanted $50 for ink for the Epson I had. I have bitched about ink cost of the Epson for years. It is a model you can’t refill at Costco for $10. Holding the $50 worth of ink in my hands I noticed there was a new printer with ink on sale for $39. Are you shitting me? I ended up getting a new HP wireless printer for $100 after verifying I could get ink refill at Costco.
Took it home, installed software, installed ink, performed set up of date, time, country, etc, loaded paper. Print you little brand new beauty – nope. Got a message something was wrong with ink cartridge(s). NOOooooo!@# Spent an hour looking on net, manual, under the bed, garage for an answer. Gave up and took it back to Walmart. I asked if they wanted to see the error message. No. Why don’t you give me a new ink cartridge and I will try it here. No. Ok give me a new printer.
Took new printer home and did the install, setup routine all over again. This model does, copy, print, scan, fax. On the top the paper feeder has an icon showing paper feed direction. I put in a sheet and made a copy. Great. Then tried to print. Paper wouldn’t feed. Spent 30 minutes on net, manual, under bed, garage. Finally I was directed to a YouTube video on a similar model that showed for printing you put a small stack of paper in the bottom (exit looking) tray, push tray in then print comes out the bottom on top of the stack you just put in. Nice design you people.
This problem has aged me. Which started me thinking that all my body components are billions of years old. I don’t remember having that many birthdays. Someone has shorted me a LOT of gifts over the eons. With that many opportunities it is a wonder no one ever gave me some ink cartridges, or a least a printer.