Resolutions

By WR Jones

I didn’t even make it to the new year to have a failed resolution. New Year’s eve at a relative’s home I resolved to stay awake to see the new year arrive. Didn’t make it past 10 PM – slept until 2 AM when wife woke me to drive home. She didn’t speak to me the whole way home. Seems when I nodded off my head dropped into the mashed potatoes. I’m considered an embarrassment.

These images show a progression in past resolution failures. The large 4′ x 5′ painting I resolved to compete something like 5 years ago. Sensing hopelessness on the larger paintings which require entirely too much persistent work, I switched to smaller sculpting projects. This piece is meant to be Mango herding sheep. Notice I have placed it up high out of the way. If I don’t look up I won’t be reminded of the 75% remaining work to completion. You know, I’m surprised I can even spell that word “completion”. It’s like a foreign language. The guitar? I was going to play that back around 1972 as I recall.

To mitigate my extremely high resolution failure rate my 2016 resolutions are
1. Exercise less
2. Eat more
3. In particular, eat more chocolate
4. Also in particular, eat more Cherry Garcia ice cream
5. Do even less around the house. This is only theoretically possible. Have to call in some experts to see if it is possible to do less than zilch.
6. Do absolutely NO yard work. This is not only possible but probable.

This is going to be my first ever successful resolution year. GO 2016 !!!

ISH

By WR Jones

This is a sculpture started in a workshop with sculptor Ken Rowe and his assistant, sculptress Adryanna Ciera.

For those family and friends that know me, yes, since this sort of looks like a horse I had some minimal help from the instructors. By minimal I mean I personally did one of the ears. Not the good ear mind you, the raggedy looking one. But it is not all my fault that it only loosely resembles a horse ear. When I asked for advice, Adryanna demonstrated the creation of an ear. She said, “first you make a small triangleish piece then stick your finger in it”. Her piece resembled an ameboa (what my horse would look like without help). When I questioned her “triangle” she told me the “ish” on the end covered the shape accuracy issue. That alone was worth the cost of the workshop. I will polish that knowledge with practice and make it my own. Examples: “yes dear, I cleanished the garage.” “I will be on timeish for dinner with your family”.

A painter friend suggested I call the exposed wire leg and tail as prostheses and call the work complete.   Given my ever diminishing work habits that advice is under serious consideration.

Corporations That Care

By WR Jones

Mother 1936   20″ x 16″ Oil on linen

Watching the morning news the other day there was an on the street reporter with a small segment in a McDonalds. She started with saying it had been established that children did much better in school with a nutritious breakfast. The McD manager was standing by with a smile on his face nodding his agreement. The reporter went on to say that McDonalds was supporting better education with a program to help children get their healthy preschool breakfast. (Manager again nodding) Reporter: “Could you tell our viewers what McDonalds is doing today to help our students start out the day with a hearty breakfast?” “Yes I’d be happy to. For today only, the first 100 customers who purchase an egg mcmuffin will get a free kids meal, on the NEXT visit to McDonalds.”

Good Lord, I was gobsmacked. After all the negativity against McDonalds here was a corporation that cared about kids. Who can calculate the enormous profit loss due to this unprecedented generosity. This could potentially cost each store hundreds of dollars. No wait, the customer has to return and buy something else. Ok, ok, still it could cost tens of dollars.

I was riding high on the wave of corporate humanity until I was brought back to earth by the report of a man in Kansas dying from a new virus he contracted while doing yard work. Holy crap I was about to go outside to pull weeds. Or at least note their location so I could point them out to my wife.

With a gesture every bit as magnanimous as Mickey’s school breakfast program I have set up an isolation ward in the garage in case my wife gets ill out in the yard.