Double Wide


My body is such a mess.  Old and breaking down like this car.  Every step seems like I’m on a rutted back road; breaking down with no repair facility in site.

Hip, elbow, shoulder, knee,  you name it; there is pain.   I’m taking trying to take these football sized pills to promote joint health.  I can visualize the autopsy now.  “Hey, Burt, look at this; the old geezer has the joints of a 12 year old.  Wonder what killed him.  Maybe it’s this boulder stuck in his throat.”

My wife is not the picture of good joint health either.   I’m on line looking for a double wide walker.  Something of the nature of those double strollers used for twins.   We will trundle down the sidewalk side by side.   I can hear her now.  “God damn it, keep up!”   “I’m right beside you what are you talking about?”   “Well then, pick up your feet, I feel like I’m dragging a wet bale of hay!”

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29 Responses to Double Wide

  1. gwen says:

    Really like the nostalgic feel of this and the way you picked up the red of the car in the trees.

    LOL at your walker. You may have hit on a good invention.

  2. Love the painting. Nice fall colors and has a good feel to it all the way around.

  3. Barbara Pask says:

    I’m sorry you are not feeling well Bill but your description about the double walker had me laughing out loud. I know what you mean about swallowing those stupid pills, some of the supplements I started taking almost choke me. Why don’t they at least coat them? Think maybe they are trying to choke us? Love the fall colors in this painting and the old car is a cutie, the blue puddle catches my eye too.

  4. Dawn says:

    I think a lot of us feel that way one time or another. You have a great imagination!
    The painting is perfect for this time of year and I agree it has that nostolgic feel. Is there a story behind this painting?

  5. A double walker! Wow!! Kinda like a tandem bicycle! But you’re right, such apparatus (apparati?) demand teamwork…an iffy proposition between spouses at best!
    As for the big pill, here’s a solution: Get a mortar and pestle. Grind big pill up into a powder. Mix big pill powder with a triple shot of Jack Daniels and slug it down. No chocking and maybe something interesting will happen! Good luck, Bill.

  6. I know what you mean about the horse pills.
    I take some that used to be normal size, swallowable. Then they put out a promotion with 25 percent more (pills not dosage)- only the pills are now twice the size and bright red. Not confidence inspiring.I guess the only way they could prove their point was to make them bigger.

    Once a bottle of pills is open, you can’t take it back; and they are so darned expensive, I won’t be wasting them…but really! Is this some pharmaceutical joke. (“Ha ha! Let’s see how big the pills can get before the geezers send the raging grannies out to complain!”)
    Double wide walker? Then we can take over the sidewalks – passing (if you can go that fast) may be a bit of a problem.

  7. rahinaqh says:

    hey Bill, this is a wonderful piece: the car, the trees… but what gets me is that light, it’s evening and there are slithers of low sunlight passing through the trees and the rest is rather low keyed. wonderful!
    just take an ibuprofen and get on with some more painting like the rest of us:))

  8. Carol King says:

    A double wide walker? LOLOL! Then your wife would really see what you are up to! (Chocolate on sofas comes to mind.)

    A lovely painting. Are you representing yourself with that old car? Love the foliage. Most of the autumn leaves are now almost gone in my neck of the woods.

    Here’s a recipe that was given to me by THREE different people, none of whom knew each other.

    Soak GOLDEN raisins in gin in a jar. After they’ve soaked up the gin take 9 golden raisins a night. Forever. But everyone who told me about this SWEARS it works. I have two jars of golden raisins soaking in gin in my kitchen cabinet. I keep forgetting to take them each night. I have to find something to take to improve my memory. Seems like I’m wasting good gin.

    2nd thing for you to take: PRESCRIPTION FISH OIL. That works!

    Your welcome! Dr. King

  9. lesliepaints says:

    Love the double wide walker idea. If you can’t keep up, maybe your side of it could be designed like one of those old side cars attached to motorcycles. This is one of my favorites you’ve painted. I like the whole feel of it. Wouldn’t be as good without that puddle in the road…..

  10. wrjones says:

    Gwen – I’ve amended my design so I have one walker and one (adult) stroller side by side. Guess which one I will be using.

    Preston – thanks.

    Barbara – thanks. The pills I take have a very thin coating so if you get it to go down first try you are ok. If you don’t succeed the first time the coating is gone and it is like trying to swallow a ball of sandpaper.

    Dawn – I suppose there is some story behind the painting but it would just be more baloney.

    David – tried your pill idea. Great success. It was so easy I did the entire bottle of pills and two bottles of Wild Turkey. Joints feeling pretty damn good now, but stomach not so good and head throbbing.

    K – I will have to think about the passing problem. Maybe us old folks can petition for double wide sidewalks.

    Rahina – thanks, I’m on my way to the medicine cabinet now.

    Carol – don’t speak to me with that deep tan and relaxed smiling face.

    Leslie – Brilliant! Will start prototype tonight.

  11. Rhonda says:

    Bill, I like the looks of this – the beautiful autumn landscape and that lovely old car. You know, aging is not for sissies but we keep plugging on. I can’t imagine another 20 years and what pieces will break or fall off or…whatever!
    But keep looking at the beauty around you and you’ll feel better – I like the idea of the gin-soaked raisins, too :) What could it hurt, eh? Plus glucosamine chondroitin does the trick for my hubby who swears by it for his arthritic hips. Whatever you choose to ingest for this, don’t wait until you have bad arthritis in your hands – we don’t want to lose seeing your paintings!

  12. Lori says:

    Cool painting, I love red cars.

    I tried all those remedies, none worked for me but maybe they will for you. Fish oil burps taste bad enough that you think they would work just from the taste alone.

    I would like one of those recumbent bikes for two, you can lay back and let the spouse do all the work. Spouses need the exercise.

  13. Erin M says:

    So *that’s* why you weren’t in the pool on Thursday night!!!

    I think you should forgo the pills & start drinking Aloe Vera juice….good for the joints & tastes much better! Unless you are a masochist…in that case I have some really “fun” remedies.

  14. Dar says:

    There’s no room on the sidewalks in my town because all the strollers are built like Hummers. You can build the double walker like that, with high performance tires, a luggage rack, (don’t forget your GPS,) and cup holders. No, better yet, I’d like to see you two on Segways.
    I like the painting. I like the shafts of light and the variety in the greens, and the perspective and diagonals create interest and depth.

  15. A good invention…lol… double wide walkers…now that is all we need at the grocery store…geesh… Sounds like those pills are the same ones I took when pregnant and almost died choking on…. sorry you are ailing, Bill…those finger joints and your eyes must be still working ok though. This is a good painting…bucolic… the care is especially well renedered as are the mountains…
    makes me wonder where you are off to next…

  16. Fabulous vintage wheels. Renoir the old frenchie painter of the 19th century found relief for arthritis in painting. And it’s the remedy that we want you to use as well. Paint! (A few gin soaked raisins do no harm as a back up.)

  17. samartdog says:

    Love the late light in the painting.

    Me, I hate it when the pill/grenade goes down just far enough to stick like a brick. Won’t go down; can’t get it up. Ack! Drinking water only adds the specter of drowning, up-ended over the kitchen sink. What if I’m found that way?! Bet I’ll still be honking. Dead as a mackerel but still honking like that old red car.

  18. 100swallows says:

    Bill: Whatever happened to canes? They were good as clubs and pointers too, as well as batons, for swinging and rhythm marking.

  19. My husband and I tried that raisin soaked in alcohol treatment. Our source named brandy as the pain reliever ingredient. Although we had some of those every morning, I don’t think either of us noticed any difference in our pain level. A teaspoon a day is just not enough to produce an effect.

    I read that Jagermeister is an old arthritis remedy. That stuff is pretty good for killing some of the pain, but don’t try to drive or operate machinery after the treatment.

    Lovely painting, BTW!

  20. wrjones says:

    Rhonda – thanks. I take the glucosamine chondroitin for my hip as well. Seems to help (along with not moving).

    Lori – thanks. I watched a comedian talk about his stupid idea of a first date on a bicycle for two. He would ask “Hey, are you peddling back there? Cause it feels like you aren’t.”

    Erin – I’m sick and can’t seem to get well. But, if you promise not to hurt me, I’ll show up for class.

    Dar – thanks. I will use your idea for naming … The Hummer Walker. “For those those days you want your wife to carry you everywhere.”

    Cathyann – bucolic? I better look that up. It sounds like some type of stomach ailment. I’ve got enough problems.

    Aletha – I’ve taken to eating the raisins then drinking the gin. Let the raisins soak in my stomach (as long as I don’t have bucolic). It does work in that my movements are so restricted (passed out on sofa) that my hip joint doesn’t hurt.

    Smartdog – I laughed so hard visualizing your comment that I started honking.

    100swallows – canes are good. I play like I’m Dr. House. “Ok, take off all your clothes and let’s have a little looksee at that sliver in your thumb.”

    Diana – try taking the brandy by the cup full instead of teaspoon. You are just using the wrong measuring device. That will have you out there pulling posts for miles around with no pain whatsoever.

  21. Stephen says:

    Hey Bill – this is such a cool painting – you are a master – thanks for the good laugh too.

  22. ivdanu says:

    Hi, bill, long time no see…Nice, innocent painting, like a baked apple with honey… sorry to hear you are not well, though… You know, I HAD arthritis too at my left knee (the right one was preparing…) Took all kind of drugs too… Not anymore! and the arthritis is gone! But I won,t bother you with advice since all solutions are unique. But if you are interested I be glad to tell you how I get rid of my arthritis (in fact my diabetes, hypertension and cholesterol are gone too…) I just don,t want to offer solutions if not specifically asked for…don,t want to look too wise or something…

  23. I hear water aerobics are low-impact. Just saying… ;)

    Love the painting.

  24. wrjones says:

    Stephen – Thanks.

    ivdanu – I’m not so much into cures as I am drug therapy. You got any Vicodin?

    Shayna – that Erin is really into pain and suffering (mine). Why don’t you drop by and join us in the sufferfest?

  25. Love this painting, Bill, and hope you’re feeling better!

  26. wrjones says:

    Connie – Thanks.

  27. Okay, Bill, I’ll have to try the more generous dose you suggested. Brandy’s pretty spendy, though… a cup a day times two for my hubby and me could really eat into our bank account. … unless I could trade some paintings at the liquor store. Do you suppose the State of Idaho (who runs all the liquor stores in this state) would go for that?

  28. Jala Pfaff says:

    Ha ha, funny post! in spite of the fact that it’s true… maybe you could get a triplet walker, then have a referee walk between you two?
    I have some arthritis too, and I’m only 44. Scary. Shall I apply to ride in the sidecar on the triplet walker?

  29. pegisue says:

    Bill, I love this painting!!!:)

    Good luck with the double wide!! Put a redwood deck on it and your wife can just carry you around!!!:)

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