Lake Day

by Bill Jones

Did you ever get sick of work?  Me too.   However, you should not let your enthusiasm hijack your common sense as is my habit.  In my eagerness to get away for a day of painting at the lake, I told a rather implausible lie, er ah story.  To make sure my boss didn’t try to override my excuse with his enthusiasm for me to get stuff done, I went a little overboard in the description of my injuries.

I told him that I had been hit by an 18 wheeler while crossing the street.  Both thigh bones were broken,  3 ribs snapped, and 2 cracked vertebrae.   I told him not to worry I should be in by the  next day.   So I’m thinking, “that ought to hold him ’til I get a rope.”

Later when the drink and handful  of Vicodin wore off, it occurred to me I was going to have to act real sore at work.   “Hell, I’m a good actor, I can pull this off”, I thought.  Say, did you ever lie to yourself?  Me too.

Well, anyway the next day I was limping around work like a 75 year old Chester.   Moaning and groaning.   This seemed to be going well until I was ambushed by an unexpected happy thought and started skipping down the block in view of my  boss.   Oops.   I told him it was therapy suggested by my bulldog attorney.  Sometimes dropping a name like that will halt further probing.

This entry was posted in Humor, Landscape, Painting, Plein Air. Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Lake Day

  1. Barbara Pask says:

    Wow, this is just gorgeous. One of my favorites of yours. What size is this?

  2. lesliepaints says:

    This is a beautiful scene, Bill. Is it a place near you? Love how the bit of white along the shore leads my eye there? I think it takes skill to render wide open spaces and make them appealing. I feel like I’m standing right next to a painter on site taking it all in.

  3. Meera says:

    I am trying to decide what I like better – your paintings or your stories!!! And I guess you keep a lot of rope ? :)

  4. 100swallows says:

    Bill: I like this one a lot. The water–so well done, the receding hills (those greens), the small (rather than large!) leaves in the foreground. Very nice.

  5. Do I need to see this right now? We’ve got snow on the ground. (My little toes are freezing.) And more promised.

    Here you are living large in this beautiful bucolic scene, painting masterpieces as happily as you please. So not fair.

  6. 5kidswdisabilities says:

    Really funny. Good story, maybe I’ll use some time when I need a day out of work!
    Lindsey Petersen

  7. wrjones says:

    Barbara – thanks. It is 8″ x 10″

    Leslie – thank you. This is a view of a lake near here.

    100swallows – thank you.

    Aletha – I’m so envious. The chance to do a snow painting!! Oh ya, there is that shoveling business.

    Meera – You don’t have to pick, you can have the wiffledust and the stories. I do use a lot of rope.

    Lindsey – you are welcome to the story. With 5 kids it won’t be strong enough; you should go with hit by a train.

  8. Dawn says:

    Your Landscapes are wonderful! So serene….it makes me want to get away!
    How big are they?

  9. Lorna Doone says:

    Who the hell is Lisa Towers, and why is her name on your blog?

  10. rahinaqh says:

    hey, great handling of values and love the reflections in the water Bill. and the story, that was the daftest battiest story ever… i think you are almost at the pinnacle of your dreams.

  11. Nice rendition of the scenery, Bill.
    How are your ribs today? Cracking up?

  12. The lake painting turned out beautiful- love the reflection of the light in the water. Instead of getting sick at work- i just do something else and come back to it later :)

  13. This looks like a lovely place to paint. I’m guessing you had a very relaxing day out except for the nagging thoughts about whether you could pull off an academy award winning acting performance at work the next day.

  14. wrjones says:

    Dawn – thanks. This painting is 8″ x 10″. I can’t handle any bigger outdoors.

    Lorna – Lisa is a nearly world famous painter. I think she died a few years ago from liver failure brought on by sucking the cad red from her brushes. I use her name here as a form of name dropping to get someone (anyone) to read the blog. Say, you sound good enough to eat.

    Rahina – thank you. It must make your life difficult to struggle with recognizing a true story when it is so plainly told.

    K – thanks. Just a little sore today; mending nicely and I’m able to sit up long enough to change the sheets now.

    Erika – thanks. Not sick at work; sick of work.

    Diana – It is a nice place and often not too many people there for a lake near Los Angeles. I felt I pulled the performance off. However, my boss has been looking at me askance for the last few days; do you think he suspects?

  15. What a wonderful, peaceful scene. I could just sink right into that painting. As for your lies, er, stories, I think you are the master!

  16. Well, you’ll never guess what’s in our forecast, Bill … more snow. So what kind of lovely, lyrical place will you be painting next? (Am jealous!)

  17. wrjones says:

    Connie – sink away. Bring some worms and we can fish.

    Well, Aletha, since you will be in snow, I think I will paint in Hawaii to give you something to dream about.

  18. You be that way. After I’ve immortalized our snow — when my breath-taking treatment of the snowy landscape cracks the million dollar mark — you wait! I’m not sending you any chocolates! (Oh, not that you’ll know I said this — too busy picking out your flowered shirts ….)

    (And I’ll have plenty of snow to paint — they’re predicting more inches with every new forecast.)

  19. What a beautiful restful scene. No wonder you wanted to leave work to paint!!! H.

  20. wrjones says:

    Aletha – two words: move south. Or just stay there until global warming catches up.

    Holly – thanks. I would leave work to paint in blizzard with Aletha.

  21. Katrina says:

    Ok Bill. NOW you can check out my blog:

  22. CarolKing says:

    You are at the apex of your form. A very beautiful painting combined with the wackiest story ever. Hit by an 18 wheeler? And only out for a day? Couldn’t you have picked a slightly smaller motor vehicle? Like a moped? With stories like that, are you sure you don’t work for a government agency????

    Love the lake! Probably one of my favorites.

  23. wrjones says:

    Carol, apex eh? Is that the top or the bottom? Yes, in retrospect I may have overstated my case with the 18 wheeler.

  24. Anna Surface says:

    Bill, that is a beautiful painting. Love the composition and colors. LOL…. too funny, your story. 18 wheeler? :)

  25. kaylyn says:

    Next time you need to call in to work..uh..incapacitated…try the Potato Famine story. Explain that inexplicably, the fungus can cross species from flora to fauna, from spud to dude. 24 hours of really smelly antifungal usually takes care of it, but the treatment renders you totally fried for the duration. Unfortunately, it can come back unexpectedly on particularly nice days.

    Nice painting!

  26. wrjones says:

    Anna – thank you kindly.

    Kaylyn – Thanks. I believe I have that fungus. Will try it out tomorrow. I think it is greatly aggravated by mixing chocolate vodka and french fries. I can hardly sit up long enough to change the sheets.

    • kaylyn says:

      Chocolate vodka and french fries?? Where is your sense of taste, sir?? An Artistic License, which I trust you have framed and hanging on your wall, only covers so much, you know.

  27. wrjones says:

    Kaylyn – What? Vodka and fries are not good? Should it be vodka and boiled cabbage? I carry my artistic license in my wallet in lieu of a driver’s license. My driver’s license was forcibly removed by that officer who thought I should not stop my car in the middle of the highway to paint. I tried to explain how fast the light was changing.

  28. Hi Bill – love the painting! Wonderful sense of depth and beautiful use of color.

  29. wrjones says:

    Connie – thanks!

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