Equal Rights For Women

by Lisa

I am on a new kick to drink more water. From what I hear, it can flush your kidneys, prevent cancer, improve your credit rating, and make you a better painter. There are two problems for me. A) I don’t like water. It has no flavor, calories, fat, or cheese. B) I am stopping at every port-o-john I see. The picture below is one I snapped of a man who had just finished relieving himself in a canal in China, and I would just like to say three words:  I am jealous. If I’m going to keep drinking water like I’m being tortured by Dick Cheney, I too, want to be able to turn around and whip it out wherever I am (okay, not if there is a camera present). This is not penis envy. It is peepee envy. Perverts. I’m beginning to think this whole situation is rather sexist. I didn’t exactly see a woman squatting with her fanny hanging out over that canal. So, here is what I want to see happen. WOMEN UNITE! Next time you have to go, set those modesty tendencies aside. Walk in front of your car at the mall and pee right in those bushes. Set your latte on the sidewalk and use the planter. Take an empty bottle with you on the bus. Better yet, make it a pickle jar. AND LET HER RIP.  Afterall, does this man look embarrassed considering there was a whole boatload of camera wielding tourists driving by him?


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11 Responses to Equal Rights For Women

  1. Rhonda says:

    No, he looks like he’s saying, “What is wrong with you stupid people? Haven’t you ever seen a man piss in a canal in broad daylight before? Now go get a job!”
    I say forget water, Lisa. It’s boring and it causes problems you don’t need. The bottled water manufacturers have convinced all the gullible people that they need to carry around a bottle at all times. Are you old enough to remember when you ran in from playing outside all day long in the summer to grab a quick drink and run out again – or just used the neighbor’s watering hose? That was enough water then and I think it’s enough now.

  2. lori says:

    Don’t you do that already into the bushes at the mall? I mean where else are you supposed to do it?

    You need to put something into the water to make it taste good. A little rum always helps.

  3. Rebecca says:

    You could do like the alien in Men In Black. “Water…with sugar!” eat the cheese directly before the water.

    Also, another old tv show visual..the pickle jar from In living Color…HA HA HA

    I suggest peeing in your leftover fast food drink cup. You are not supposed to refill it anyway once you leave the restaurant (apparently it’s theft now) and depending on where you ate, you are upcycling that cup!

  4. Okay…. I broke my leg a LOOOONNNGGGG time ago (when I was in college) up on the top of a ski slope. After they covered me with a tarp, put me in one of those coffin-on-a-ski-things and hauled my f.. a.. er I mean my teeny tiny little bottom to the bottom of the hill… I needed to p..e er use the facilities really badly. But I couldn’t walk… PAIN and no way to stand on the leg got in the way…
    Did you know they make this gadget something like a bedpan with a funnel on it into which a woman is supposed to pee? (Don’t try this at home, folks)
    It left something to be desired.

    Yes… having something which could be “whipped out” would have saved me considerable suffering, I’ll agree!!

  5. Susie says:

    All I have to say is that I am really impressed by the quality of your photos. I’ll drink a little less water so that I have no need to pee in a canal….

  6. Jala Pfaff says:

    I have to pee, like, ALL the time. My husband’s from India and told me that the village women in India (i.e., rural not city women) wear no underwear under their sari, and so they just squat wherever. I’m jealous!

  7. Susan Carlin says:

    I just scared the hell out of my daughter by laughing so hard she ran in to see what was wrong with me. Thank you. Really. I needed that. “Set your latte on the sidewalk and use the planter. Take an empty bottle with you on the bus.” Hey, the bus people already think I’m strange wrangling a wet painting to and fro. My face hurts now. Thank you.

  8. lbtowers says:

    I dig these vibs ladies. (Note to self: not a single man commented.) I can see that great minds think alike. Here’s another thought: Depends. Wear them proudly right under that bikini.

  9. Observing a man peeing into a canal is all it would take to put me off H2O as a beverage forever.

    Aren’t there any trees he could irrigate?

  10. Rebecca says:

    Lisa, where are you? Lots of Bill lately….
    Please post something! :)

  11. wrjones says:

    Hey – what’s wrong with lots of Bill?

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