By Sam Bob Ralph Pete … wait wait I’ve got it right here in my wallet.
I was driving home the other day practicing a relaxation breathing technique I recently learned. You breath in through your nose for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, then breath out through your mouth for a count of 8. You must hold the tip of your tongue just so against the ridge at the back of your upper front teeth. That part seems a little overboard to me. These rule makers always get carried away with irrelevant details. Like those galloping nincompoops who stipulate you can not use white for a watercolor painting.
The breathing method did seem to calm me down. So much so that I nodded off for a brief period while driving west on the 118. As I started drifting across lanes the blaring of horns brought me back. I awoke feeling refreshed and ready to finish my drive.
I was so excited about this easy, drug free (that is the downside) way to relax I started rehearsing in my mind how I would explain it to my friends friend. But, I couldn’t remember where I had learned it. My friend was not going to listen to me if he thought the idea was my own. I had to come up with documentation.
Where did I learn it? Was it the Dr. Phil show? Perhaps the Dr. Drew show, the man who treats loadies. I watch him faithfully to see if I can kick a few or more of these bad habits without actually paying for treatment. Maybe from one of those Oprah books? Then it came to me; I heard it on one of the CDs my daughter got me on improving your memory. Well, I guess you could say it was sort of working. I did remember eventually.
On the way home I stopped at the gym to take a muscle conditioning class. While picking up my mat I passed by a woman I knew from the gym and said, “Corrie, how’s it going?” I have known her name for years. We could not really be classified as even casual acquaintances as I only know her name and nothing else about her. I have been saying “Hi, Corrie” for a long time but we never talk before or after class. She knows my name from hearing the various instructors call it out over the years. BiLLLLL, what are you doing, we are on another exercise, or BiLLLLLL where are you going now? I have a list of stock answers; I need a drink, I have to pee, this exercise looks like it may be hard, etc. One instructor used to start her class by saying if there are any new people in here and you need some water just follow Bill, he takes a break every 10 minutes.
I got of track a bit there. So the class started and I was going along Ok until I glanced over and saw Corrie in the mirror. I don’t know why my mind felt the need to remember her name but it did. It could be that some diagnostic part of my brain knew there was a problem, a memory leak. I could not think of her name. Well this is bullshit, I knew it moments ago. Forget about it who cares. Doesn’t work that way. I started on my usual technique to remember a name. This technique seldom works but I tend to forget it doesn’t work. Ann, Amanda, Amy, Alison, Barbara, Betty, Bonnie, Camy, Cristine, Debra, Dorrie, … and on down the alphabet. Sometimes I quit before getting to the Z’s and start over. BiLLLL, what are you doing, we are working out here.
Her name did not come to me for a few days by which time I had lost interest and forgot that I had new brain damage. But when it did I leapt on it like a lion with my newly learned memory techniques. You are supposed to form a vivid, detailed image connecting the name and face. So I now have her stored in the remaining undamaged part of my brain as cutting away the good part of an apple and eating the CORE..Y.
Only time will tell if this works or not. Meanwhile I’m thinking that I may have used up a goodly portion of my brain to remember something I really have no use for.