Pooped

By W.R. Jones

park.jpg

During lunch a few weeks ago, Raha took me to this park to show me a potential painting location. She warned me that the area was popular; I should get there early if I wanted a parking spot. Ya, ya, ya, there can’t be that many people wanting to hike.

I arrived by 9:00AM the next day and there was not an open parking spot for miles. I ended up painting in a cemetery.    For some reason standing there reminded me of a cousin (maybe because I shot him).   That coupled with the seagull pooping on Lisa triggered a memory of one of his stories.

Paul was, for a time at least, a pharmaceutical drug salesman.  One hot summer evening after a long day on the job, he was driving on the interstate 80 through Iowa.  His boss was a passenger and had dozed off.  Keep in mind this was pre-seatbelt days.  Paul was driving behind the cab of an 18 wheeler tractor that was being towed.  The cab of the tractor was facing Paul’s car.

Paul got to daydreaming as is custom in the Jones family.  During a particularly engaging dream, he began tailgating.

Looking up with a start to see himself rapidly bearing down on the truck cab, he jumped on the brakes, shouted mother-f…, and reached out an arm to keep his boss from slamming into the windshield.

Now from the boss’ view – I awoke with an 18 wheeler about to come through the windshield in less than a millisecond and, well yes, I pooped my pants.  What would you have done?

There was no air conditioner, hot summer day, about 8 miles more to drive before any restrooms were available.  Paul said conversation was lagging for the rest of the drive.

He never did get that raise.

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This entry was posted in Humor, Landscape, Painting, Plein Air. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Pooped

  1. Carol King says:

    Another post, another laugh. Where do you get this stuff?

  2. kevmoore says:

    I understand the more forward-thinking motor vehicle manufacturers are fitting commodes as standard into their passenger seats. Who the hell needs air bags? Give me a pair of clean jeans any day of the week.

  3. wrjones says:

    I’m with you Kev. From the description given of your last drive through the mountains I think I would want to stay in the commode and read the paper while you drive.

  4. 100swallows says:

    What a disappointment! After that introduction I thought we’d get a good cemetery picture now. Of course maybe this IS a cemetery: Americans have such pretty ones.

  5. wrjones says:

    I’m wanting to do a painting of a cemetery. I’m attacted to them somehow. Maybe because I’m drawing ever nearer to living in one. I think instead I will do a piece of a national battle field monument.

  6. gypsy-heart says:

    First of all, I think the painting is lovely.

    Second, thanks for the laugh.

    Third, I will try to stop day dreaming when I drive! :O

  7. Barbara Pask says:

    Hi there, I just wanted to thank you for visiting my blog. Your work is wonderful, I’ll be back. Barb

  8. Anna Surface says:

    LOL LOL What a story!

    How’d it go painting in the cemetery?

    Lovely painting. :)

  9. wrjones says:

    Thanks, Gypsy – don’t do relaxation breathing while driving either.

    We hope to see you many times Barb. Next time please bring some cookies.

    Anna – I’m working on that wall painting. I will mention you and what I think you need to do with your photos (if I can remember).

    The people buried in the cemetery didn’t comment, those working there thanked me just for asking permission to paint there.

  10. The painting is really appealing to me…… funny story and nice painting. Good post.

  11. wrjones says:

    Thanks Nouveau, you French have such neat names.

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