The Best Customers

by Lisa 

It is Sunday, and I am still full. If I hear the word turkey one more time, I’ll puke. This year, Thanksgiving had a little edge to it for us because for the first time we had to combine three family traditions. At first things were dicey with everyone arguing over things like who did the best stuffing, pumpkin pie, or sweet potato casserole. In the end no one got hurt, and we are all still talking. It looked like it might come to blows for a while there, but I’m sure glad it’s over. BTW, I DO make the best sweet potato casserole. And the best stuffing. And the b–okay…

I got to do some plein air painting yesterday even though it was a little windy and houses were burning all around me. An amusing thing happened to me, and accounts for why I cannot show you a picture of what I painted. I was out in the country (okay, I was no where near Malibu) painting a little shack in the distance, and after I had laid it in for about 45 minutes, and gotten it all stated in about a 4 x 6 inch sketch, the wind suddenly picked up. I knew it was time to bolt, and started packing it in. Suddenly a pick-up truck pulls up, and two burly looking men get out that look like they have been working hard on the farm where I was painting. At first I thought they were going to tell me to leave since I was kind of on someones property. Instead, these two rough and tumble men became fascinated by my little painting, especially after I pointed out the little shack in the distance. One of them immediately told me how nice my little painting was. I thanked him kindly, and he further insisted that it was really good. 

Then the conversation turned to whether or not I sell my work, and how much I charge. I tried to tell him that I would use the sketch to make a more serious painting from and sell the larger painting. That wasn’t good enough. He wanted to know how much the little one would sell for. Mind you, I just wanted to get out of the wind. I told him, “Uh…$75”. He asked how much I would sell it to HIM for. $50. He reached in his pocket and pulled out two 20 dollar bills. SOLD. He walked away looking at that painting like he had gotten a Monet for a steal. Glad he’s not a connoisseur ’cause that sucker was loose! And I didn’t even get a picture of it.  Anyway, it made my day. Not the $40, but the look on his face!

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13 Responses to The Best Customers

  1. 100swallows says:

    The guy’s look and his money went right to your heart but I hope it didn’t go to your head. He seemed not to have had even a minimum of good judgment. I saw the “loose sucker” and couldn’t believe my eyes: the roof of the little shack was upside down! I bet his wife will tell him.

  2. wrjones says:

    This is an excellent story and I’m going to follow your principles in the future. It has a strong resemblance to those stories by fishermen about the one that got away.

    If you are going to make up stories however, use a little more flair. “I sold my painting to a drug cartel kingpin posing as a field worker. From an old Spanish aristocratic family he was well educated in the arts and could therefore appreciate the well executed pastoral scene.”

    “I would like to tell you the amount I recieved but feel the sum would make you all ill with envy. Normally I would not charge such an exorbitant fee but I knew he had to launder that stack of $100’s. Can anyone point me to the local Bently dealer?”

    Great story, Lisa – now I’m going to look for that field and comb the weeds to find where you threw the piece. By the way, just to add injury to insult, did you know Santa does not like story tellers?

  3. 100swallows says:

    Hey, Lisa, you didn’t sign your post and I thought it was Bill’s. I meant to pull HIS leg.
    I should have guessed by the style. Cringe, cringe.

  4. lbtowers says:

    Bill would have tried to bilk him for more. BTW 100swallows, what happened to our “conversation” about beauty? I was enjoying that!

  5. Carol King says:

    I love that story. Well done!!!! I will have to start painting outside. I need to sell some of my art.

  6. lbtowers says:

    Are you THE Carol King? And are you sick of that question?

  7. wrjones says:

    Who is THE Carol King? The Carol commenting here has a funny looking face. Her collectors are going to get paintings for a couple of bananas.

    Of course I would have negotiated for more. I would have held out for a trunk load of the beets in that field.

  8. kevmoore says:

    I believe this Carol King is being confused with the Carol(e) King who is famous for her Tapestry….I cant see what all the fuss is about personally, have you seen the Bayeux Tapestry? Its enormous, goes on for ages, this King woman’s seems to be about 12″ across, made of plastic with a hole in the middle.Whats that all about?

  9. Carol King says:

    In SOME circles I’m THE Carol King, but I believe you are referring to Carole King, who, as Kevmoore points out, is of Tapestry fame. She used to be Carole Klein but changed her name. I am not THAT Carol King.

    And Bill, How do you know I have a funny looking face?

  10. lbtowers says:

    Carol, please tell us that you know your avatar is a monkey.

  11. Carol King says:

    yes, I know my avatar is a monkey. I may change it to dog.

  12. wrjones says:

    Well, Carol, I believe we talked about stalking. However, I followed the wrong person, i.e. Carole I guess. I wondered how you could get any painting done when you spent all your time singing.

    Your face looks fine, Fido. Is that a holiday ball you are chewing on there?

    The Bayeux Tapestry is a small piece compared to:

    The Gettysburg Cyclorama is 359 feet long, 27 feet high and weighs an estimated 3 tons. This is a 360 degree painting of the battle of Gettysburg. It is an awesome work of art. Painted in 1884 by French artist Paul Philippoteaux, I believe he had help from 5 or 6 other painters, and they completed the work in 11 months. Standing in the center of it is an incredible experience.

  13. kevmoore says:

    Bill, Im going to check that out, it sounds impressive, unlike the Chicago Cyclorama, which is an album by the rock band Styx and is only about 5″x 5″

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