Anger Management

By W R Jones

Mango Shock
Mango – waiting in his car seat

I got so irritated with Mango’s demanding angry tyrant behavior (he screams when he thinks we might be going somewhere without him), that I decided to try shock therapy. Here he is waiting in his car seat after I threw the switch. It didn’t work as expected. All that happened was his hair stood up and his memory failed. Now he has forgotten not to bite the hand that feeds him.

On reflection he may be picking up his anger issues from me. I recently tried to slam a revolving door. This is a pretty good example of an ill advised outburst. The door, instead of slamming behind me, slammed from the front breaking a tooth. The event will cost me $4K and leave me whistling as I speak for 6 months. I had a brief hope it might make me look younger as in a 7 year old. I did a trial grin in the mirror. Too many wrinkles to pull it off. I look like an 85 year old who forgot his dentures.

I went to the pharmacist for some stuffy nose medicine yesterday. The kind you have to show ID to purchase. She got the pills and was ringing me up when someone nearby said something funny. I giggled showing my missing tooth to the pharmacist. She looked at me and grabbed the pills. She thought I was a long time meth user. When I told her how I lost my tooth she gave me back the meds saying I did look dumber than 40 water buffalo so the story made sense, sort of.

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5 Responses to Anger Management

  1. suburbanlife says:

    Too funny! But also the stuff that happens to most of us from day to day. I swear, today I will chant ‘Om mane Padme hum’ under my breath to prevent melt-downs, which appear with greater frequency as I near 70. Thanks for sharing! G

  2. fashindiva says:

    I love reading your blog but I haven’t left a comment in a long time cuz I’ve been having a tough time signing into WordPress from my iPad! Anyway, that silly Mango. I have to get up in the morning and deal with all the stuffing that our little honey badger has pulled out of his bad. Ugh. Xo have a good night,

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    • I detect a little something sinister about a dog named “Mango”. You should change his name to”Buddy”. I though your blog was stone cold dead, but fortunately you have brought it back to life. “Buddy”. Try “Buddy”

  3. William, please scratch my “Buddy” suggestion, and replace it with “Chucky”.

  4. wrjones says:

    Suburbanlife – just NEARING 70 – you young whippersnapper, you should still be practicing the pole vault.

    Becca, thanks – I put this on FB as well. I think I may take a video of Mango and put that on FB. He doesn’t listen to a single command or do any tricks, but I can film him pooping in the neighbor’s yard which will bring me hours of viewing pleasure. I think you have probably spent enough on your honey badger dog that he should have his own tv and recliner so you could lay back on sofa. But then maybe you just didn’t want him looking at those bitches on Animal Planet.

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