By WR Jones
These are flowers, they can’t really compete with my weeds. I pulled at a weed so large this morning that I threw out my back. Weed didn’t budge, had to get the tree trimmer for big branches.
So I’m thinking I should just change expectations, definitions, and desires. I only need to call the weeds flowers, and convince myself of their beauty, problem sorted. No more weed spray or pulling. No more watering, no more fertilizer. The flowers tend to die off without tender, expensive feeding and care. Let them go, they are the new weeds. Since they die off so readily I expect they will be known as “soft weeds”. My “flowers” will grow like… well like weeds.
This idea is so brilliant I think I should get it copyrighted. If I get the right sleazebag attorney, i.e. someone I can relate to, to draw up the paperwork, anyone with a formerly known “weed” in their yard will owe me royalties for growing my “flowers”. There is a precedent with Monsanto charging all the farmers for using “Monsanto’s seed” that just sort of popped up in the farmer’s field.