Long Walk

By WR Jones

I fondly remember the days of my youth when I could eat like a horse.  I recall having a plate of pork fat fried potatoes, coffee, a donut, and a cigarette with my thoughts focused on the moment’s pleasure not the near future horrible death awaiting.  The only knowledge we had of calories back then was how many it took to boil a cup of mayonnaise I think.   Modern medical thinking has put a damper on any sort of oral enjoyment.

I got this iPhone GPS app to track pace, distance, calories burned, and the way back home.  I was expecting it to make me feel better about my Sunday walk to get oatmeal.  Expectation is the mother of disappointment my daughter tells me.  She is right.  I totally pissed away my $0.99 on that app.

What I found was that in 2.5 miles I burned 98 Cal.  I had to walk my ass off to break even with a McDonald’s oatmeal and cup of coffee with Splenda.  I’ve been craving some pork ribs and a 1/2 loaf of onion rings.  I’ve got to end this post and get started walking.  I figure I will have to walk across California and look for a ribs place in Tucson, AZ to break even on that calorie load.


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This entry was posted in Humor, Landscape, Painting. Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Long Walk

  1. har har har..I TOTALLY feel your pain. I’ll meet you somewhere in Texas for the other half of the onion loaf. Gimme a head start though, because Atlanta to the desert southwest is a long lonely walk.

  2. rahinaqh says:

    that is one beautiful painting Bill! i love the composition and the brushwork… now as for calorie burning, well i think the problem lies in you living in california. i’m in oslo at the moment and i can say that you don’t have to move: your body just burns calories trying to keep warm, and yes, i’m eating like a horse just to keep as close to 37.5 centigrade;) so i suggest you go to alaska and eat all the pigs you can find and stay off the horses.

  3. yuk yuk…thanks for starting my week with a chuckle. I stopped weighing myself long ago and I feel so much better. (and I am not 300lbs, smarty)Hell with the wondering what is going to kill us this moment. Eat more chocolate.
    I think Tuscon might be a great place to meet for ribs, I will meet Rebecca on the way there.
    This painting belies the real Bill….calm, cool, collected and loving life.
    It is an image anyone would enjoy walking into. The water is especially appealing. Perfectly rendered.

  4. So, Rahinagh, eating just to stay warm just doesn’t sound like the life for me. But, I’ll bet you have some really nice sweaters!!!

  5. ivdanu says:

    I love the painting bill! Great balance of the violet blue & greens… Remembers me my teenage wanderings near river Cibin & gipsies camps… As for calories & such, just like with other conventional medicine stuff, they are full of sh. For instance, they say better not to eat the yolk of the egg, eat just the white…BS! all the good stuff (vitamins, minerals etc) are in the yolk & all the big talk with high cholesterol is just another publicity stunt to get their Lipitor & like sold! I am just now supporting minus 20 (Quebec is kind of Iceland, alaska like) & eating 2 eggs per day (occasionnally some lean & mean pork muscle (?) Burning calories in my head… Let’s just paint & eat whatever we feel does us good…(fruits of all kind good too)

  6. wrjones says:

    Rebecca – great idea. Don’t whine about the walk to the desert southwest from your direction, it isn’t Yosemite valley from this direction either. So you, Cathyann and I will have one bodacious meal. Might I suggest we have a banana split for dessert. Then we can stroll up the the Canadian border and back to work that off. I tried to leave a comment on your blog. Fabulous studio! I get rejected from leaving comments saying it does not recognize my openID. Strange as I leave comments for other blogspot bloggers. Couldn’t find any email address on your blog either to give you a personal tongue lashing for causing me comment leaving grief. You should have some contact info in case anyone wants to buy from the output of that studio, or maybe I just missed it. I’m here at work drinking heavily.

    Rahina – thanks. Hey dummy, who bought the plane ticket to Oslo? You could be here in the sunny southwest looking forward to a long walk for a fine meal of pig parts, and having a goodly amount of time to listen to me rant.

    Ivdanu – thanks. I’m a yolk eating fool. Love to dip my toast in it then a small nibble off the bacon strip.

  7. Dawn says:

    I am shocked you only burned 98 calories in 2.5 miles!!!!! Are you sure about that????????
    The painting is beautiful. I use to live in Utah up around Dugway (proving grounds) and I had a palamino( horse) and the country was beautiful. Your painting takes me back….
    I work out like a fool and never lose a pound…at my age it’s “Maintain”!

  8. lesliepaints says:

    Made me laugh! Right now, I’m in the midst of this midwest snowstorm and I refuse to walk anywhere!
    I recall that painting last year of cows under the tree. I like this one just as much, Bill.

  9. I went to breakfast this morning with a friend only to discover that the restaurant put the caloric value of each item on the menu. And of course the meal I wanted to choose (until I saw the ##) had enough calories to support my body weight for an entire day.
    Not wanting to starve myself for the rest of the day I opted for something less “dense”. Ruined all the fun of the meal.

  10. wrjones says:

    Dawn – I was shocked too and not in a pleasant way. Now every little tasty tidbit that passes my brings up images of very long walks in a cold dreary drizzle. Your age hmmph! You little whickersnacker, you are barely out of adolescence. Glad to help you with a memory – your bike painting did the same for me.

    Leslie – get out! I left Iowa years ago and not a second of regret. Too damn cold there. Wow you have a good memory. I actually decided to do this horse painting after a woman seeing my cow painting at a bank said she would buy it if it had horses instead of cows. My wife wanted me to change the cows to horses in that painting. I prefer the look of cows. I think it is their more pronounce planes that appeals to me. I remember drawing cows in Montana. Had a little problem with perspective and the cows looked like they were dangling from distant trees.

    Marian – I like that the calories are shown but it does suck a little of the joy of eating even when you have been good for a month and are “treating” yourself.

  11. david lobenberg says:

    You cannot come close to fathoming how absolutely delicious my chinese steamed pork ribs with fermented black bean sauce is. I have to walk 350 miles in sub zero weather and eat 122 and a quarter bowels of steaming hot oatmeal to assuage the profound guilt I have after eating them. I do neither, but as the old saying goes “this too will pass”.

  12. 100swallows says:

    Bill: A nice painting. I hope it’s a big one so the viewer can really get inside and lay down in that idyllic pasture. Or maybe hop on that horse. I just know there are no bugs anywhere.

  13. Carol King says:

    Expectation is the mother of disappointment…so, so true. Your daughter is one smart cookie.

    Cookie? Cookie? Did someone say cookie? I could eat one, but then I would have to walk on the treadmill for 8 hours. Damn middle-aged metabolism.

    Beautiful painting. You always do trees so well, and the purple sky! Nice horse.

  14. wrjones says:

    David – brilliant observation – the guilt will pass. I’m going to use that as my new mantra.

    100swallows – thanks. It is big for me. 24″x20″. I am working on a 5’x4′ now and it is a large canvas of depression. I spend days on one area only to be totally discouraged. I should have it done in a few generations, must pass on painting bug to my daughter.

    Carol – thanks. You must have a lot of internet time available since it is tough to get out in hip deep snow. Sorry for all your suck weather. Oh nuts, that was a lie. Better you than me! Say shoveling snow burns a lot of calories. Shovel your way to McD for some oatmeal.

  15. Barbara Pask says:

    Such a beautiful serene painting Bill. I wish painting burned lots of calories but I’ve discovered painting makes you fat, lol. Spring is approaching so I like you are back to counting calories, again.

  16. wrjones says:

    Barbara – thanks. What we need is for frustration to burn calories then painting would do the trick and we would all be pencil necked (and hipped) geeks. Don’t just keep counting the old calories over and over, be sure to include the new ones. Say weren’t you doing your plein air work across the street from a hamburger joint? Better start looking for motifs next to a countryside radish patch.

  17. Dawn says:

    Lifes short…stop worrying about it…Quality of life…
    Nice tranquil painting…wished I was there!

  18. connie says:

    That is absolutely the best painting you have posted. I love it! And what a great horse…mine tend to look like mutated dogs. I also remember a time when “if it was good you ate it” with no regard for health. My parents ate fried food and desert two times a day and were always slim. Of course, they smoked and drank coffee all day long.
    Ah-h-h those were the days.

  19. wrjones says:

    Dawn – Thanks – now I’m all relaxed; excellent advice. Wish I was there too, painting.

    Connie – thank you. I do find horses very difficult to paint and piss away a lot of time on them. Those were the days. But once you are made aware of dangers; hard to ignore. And apparently EVERYTHING is bad for you. One can hardly figure a way to get out of life alive.

  20. You perhaps did not make your exercise goal, but the painting is exquisite!

  21. I gave up walking to lose weight. Joined a gym. Elliptical trainer 30 minutes 300 calories. Sit ups on the big blue ball, at least a couple hundred.
    But it kills me ;)

  22. wrjones says:

    Aletha – thanks!

    Mary – I do the walking and gym. Walking is nice, gym sucks.

  23. connie says:

    Hey it’s March! Time for another post.

  24. ad2050 says:

    Looks like you took a long walk to get to this painting location. It has an “out there, away from it all” feeling that I immediately liked.

    I miss not eating like a horse, too.

  25. wrjones says:

    ad2050 – Thanks. I miss eating a lot of junk food, smoking, etc., A LOT!

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