By WR Jones


The one in front is me.  That hungry looking thing on my ass is the economy.   I may have the answer, “Product Cinema”.   If you send me money in the next 15 minutes a 10 percent discount is yours.  And and and I will include a sample of whatever I can cheat these little Halloween buggers out of tonight.

I was watching a recorded program on TV the other night and could not help but notice that as I skipped over the commercials at the fastest fast forward possible, the time to skip over the ads was longer than the time spent watching the snippets of program between the marathon ad sessions.

So then I thought what would happen if I came up with a program to skip over that load of manure automatically.   I could offer the program free.  Then the advertisers would pay me not to give away my “Ad Buster”.   That is prong 1 of a two prong money making attack.   Interested now?   Ok you missed out on the 10 percent discount because you are dumber than 40 water buffalo.  I don’t mind working with the mentally challenged, I will still let you in on this CAN”T POSSIBLY MISS money maker.   Why?  Because I love you.

If you can skip the ads entirely, the advertising companies will be forced to produce commercials that are interesting in their own right.   Thus “Product Cinema.”   We make programs pushing product.   Here is an example series idea ….   “Bill and Kate + 8.”  A soap opera, the season opener – Bill and Kate have 8 children, none of whom Bill is particularly fond of.   Kate whines to an adorable, very sympathetic, very handsome husband (played by me), “Bill, I can’t do a thing with this hair!”   Bill, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.  I’m leaving you for Georgia.  She uses Prell for natural looking full bodied, soft, yet will stand up to a force 5 hurricane hair.”

“Don’t worry about custody.  You can have them all, all the time.   As a sign of my continuing deep caring for your well being, I have set you up for direct deposit.  You can put the money into my account without leaving the diaper changing area.   Georgia and I will be traveling, staying in all the 5 star hotels.  And as you are aware, since we had to let the kids go hungry more than once, my painting supplies are very costly.   So try your level best to be on time with the money.”

Stop drooling, it is unbecoming.   Yes this is like printing your own money.  Make that check out to W.R. Jones, Financial Genius Extraordinar.

As a casting couch for our programs I was thinking we could have the pathetic wanna be movie stars pose for paintings.   Lordy, I’m the full package of brilliant ideas, eh?














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16 Responses to Run

  1. lesliepaints says:

    The drawing is interesting, Bill. Even though it’s rendered quickly, I like the turn of your head (the hare) and the way I see it, you have a three legged economy chasing you. Implied fourth leg, just like our economy? or accident? If we paint pathetic wanna bes will our paintings be pathetic wanna bes?

  2. Bill, sorry to burst your bubble, but if you’re wanting investors to take you seriously, you’re going to have to learn to spell “extraordinaire”.

    (Or maybe just go with it and the ones who don’t notice are likely to be just the ones who will help you succeed.)

  3. Rhonda says:

    Bill, I know you’re onto something with the commercial/ad eraser – I’ve heard many people say “Why can’t someone invent something to rush through the commercials?” You are just the man for the job. Let me know when you start rolling in the dough and you become the fox in the painting. As for painting pathetic wanna-bes, I think that’s already being done – celebrity portraits?

  4. wrjones says:

    Leslie – what the devil. Where did that leg go? My wife must have called me for dinner. This does not bode well for my budding career as a wildlife artist I suppose.

    Diana – my posts have a total want of literary interest anyway, a little misspelling can’t add that much damage. I’m now of the writing school of Rahina. She, in her desire to put dull information on the net as fast as possible, ignores all capitals, any punctuation that would normally be considered necessary, and spels so porly i feel i’m trying to reed the rosetta stone i’ve managed to pick up each and every one of her bad habits

    Rhonda – do celebrities have portraits painted? Maybe we could have a reality show. The guest painter does a painting from life of a celebrity and then if a panel can tell who the person is from the painting, the guest wins a brand new hog bristle brush size 6. We will allow 10 minutes for painting and 50 minutes for ads. That way we will generate a large enough income stream to afford the brush.

  5. rahinaqh says:

    look who’s talking: spelling mistak in a simpl word and a three legged fox ho looks like he wnats to play with that wabbit and to top it all a daft busness idea… i’ll have you no i have a team of editors ho cheque my spelin be4 i put it on my blug and i am ejukated too… so there.

  6. It does seem like the ratio commercial time vs. program time is expanding at double the rate of the economic recovery…. WHAT economic recovery???… Okay maybe 10 times the rate…
    Love your drawing Bill… and the analogy you made between your figures and you and the economy… Although a pack of rabbits could have stood in for all of us!

  7. Dawn says:

    This makes a good point why I don’t watch hardly any t.v.! I’ve been accused of living in my own little world….but….I’m happy!

    I like the drawing…I’m always intrigued…was it from a photo or memory?

    Thanks for the comment on my last painting…I’m not sure that it’s not too busy and not sure about that pepsi sign in the painting….I did repaint the buildings. It was pretty involved.

  8. wrjones says:

    rahinaqh – i rust my caze

    Marion – thanks. A normal comment. Wow, so rare.

    Dawn – From memory? Please don’t be so cruel. From two different photos.

    On your painting:

    When you do those complex paintings you really take a chance with burning a lot of time and coming up with a mediocre piece. While there are a lot of wonderful painting-a-day pieces out there and it is great practice, I think to grow as a painter you need to sometimes stretch and do a more involved work. We wouldn’t remember all those masters for their paintings of a single grape, or a single head and shoulders either for that matter. A modern master for complex paintings is Mian Situ. Just awesome compositions and masterful execution.

  9. Bill, I’m hoping to get the private jokes if I follow along here long enough.

  10. I raise a toast to your sense of humor, Bill.
    Like you, one day I sat in front of the tube and counted 11 commercials during the break after watching oh, maybe only 6 minutes of the show. Amazing.
    And I also remember the days when TV was entertaining.
    Now, we have “balloon boy” to look forward to. geesh….now there is a travesty.

    Actually…you need to worry a bit…rahina seems to be coming close to your
    patoot, here, bunnyman, in the funny department. I am enjoying the replies as much as your rants!

  11. rahinaqh says:

    Cathyann, the man is an artist: despite the 3 legged fox, that rabbit is brilliantly drawn… probably becasue he saw himself in it and i guess it was total narcissim that kept him focused on doing a great job on it and leaving out the fox leg. as for coming close to his ‘patoot’…. please noooo as he sounds totally mad:)) i’m as sane as they come…..

  12. wrjones says:

    Diana – there aren’t any private jokes that I’m aware of or maybe I just don’t get them.

    Cathyann – there is nothing funny about the fact that Rahina can’t spell. Shame on you laughing at the poor woman. I just read a blurb about how the DVR is not affecting ads to the degree they first worried about. Seems most people don’t take the trouble to skip over the ads they sit there and listen. A whole world full of dummies.

    Rahina – i feel so sory for u. Can’t see the artistic (albeit unconscious) genius in forgetting er, leaving off a distracting moving fox leg. Would probably thrown off the whole composition.

  13. Hey Bill. Love the action in this piece. Poor bunny! Holly

  14. wrjones says:

    Hi Holly – Thanks. The bunny may be able to outrun a three legged fox.

  15. Jala Pfaff says:

    Yes, you are.

    Great drawing.

  16. Yes, you are (full of brilliant ideas). The drawing is pretty fantastic too. So, who wins? (By the way, that’s not the Easter Bunny I hope.)

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