By WR Jones
The one in front is me. That hungry looking thing on my ass is the economy. I may have the answer, “Product Cinema”. If you send me money in the next 15 minutes a 10 percent discount is yours. And and and I will include a sample of whatever I can cheat these little Halloween buggers out of tonight.
I was watching a recorded program on TV the other night and could not help but notice that as I skipped over the commercials at the fastest fast forward possible, the time to skip over the ads was longer than the time spent watching the snippets of program between the marathon ad sessions.
So then I thought what would happen if I came up with a program to skip over that load of manure automatically. I could offer the program free. Then the advertisers would pay me not to give away my “Ad Buster”. That is prong 1 of a two prong money making attack. Interested now? Ok you missed out on the 10 percent discount because you are dumber than 40 water buffalo. I don’t mind working with the mentally challenged, I will still let you in on this CAN”T POSSIBLY MISS money maker. Why? Because I love you.
If you can skip the ads entirely, the advertising companies will be forced to produce commercials that are interesting in their own right. Thus “Product Cinema.” We make programs pushing product. Here is an example series idea …. “Bill and Kate + 8.” A soap opera, the season opener – Bill and Kate have 8 children, none of whom Bill is particularly fond of. Kate whines to an adorable, very sympathetic, very handsome husband (played by me), “Bill, I can’t do a thing with this hair!” Bill, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. I’m leaving you for Georgia. She uses Prell for natural looking full bodied, soft, yet will stand up to a force 5 hurricane hair.”
“Don’t worry about custody. You can have them all, all the time. As a sign of my continuing deep caring for your well being, I have set you up for direct deposit. You can put the money into my account without leaving the diaper changing area. Georgia and I will be traveling, staying in all the 5 star hotels. And as you are aware, since we had to let the kids go hungry more than once, my painting supplies are very costly. So try your level best to be on time with the money.”
Stop drooling, it is unbecoming. Yes this is like printing your own money. Make that check out to W.R. Jones, Financial Genius Extraordinar.
As a casting couch for our programs I was thinking we could have the pathetic wanna be movie stars pose for paintings. Lordy, I’m the full package of brilliant ideas, eh?