By W R Jones
Trixie and Bubbles
These are the women I want to look after me. Clearly I need keepers. Let me tell you a little story. Then you tell me if it is theoretically possible to be this stupid; or, have I gone beyond the 6 sigma so far into the outliers that I’m in some sort of parallel idiot’s universe.
I went into work one Sunday to put in a little extra effort as it were, what with me being the diligent company individual I am. So, I’m at my desk when I become aware my shoulder as well as my hip, elbow, head, knee, and wrist are bothering me. The shoulder was at the top of the heap pain wise so I wandered down the hallway to get some Ibuprofen.
So happens the Ibuprofen is right across from the administration assistant’s office area. She has a refrigerator. Sunday, no one around, why don’t I take a little looksee. I could use a soda. Then I saw it in the freezer. A very cold but pliant plastic bag filled with a brown colored gel. The admin woman had been struggling with a toothache for a week. This must be one of those bags you freeze, use as a cold pack then return to the frig.
Well, great, this may do the trick for my shoulder pain. Check the calendar on the wall and on my iPhone to be sure. Yep, Sunday; no one will be around. Why don’t I go to the VP’s office and rest on his small sofa with this cold pack. Very comfortable that sofa. Took my shoes off before putting up my feet (I wasn’t born in a barn you know). Cold pack on shoulder, pain easing, I may have drifted off for a second or two.
I awoke to the sweet smell of chocolate. Son-of-a-bitch! Don’t panic. Sure, there is a little monsterous amount of chocolate on the sofa, pillow, and carpet. Let’s think this thing through. Simply tell the truth, fess up, accept the blame and my deserved punishment …. have you been hit in the head? As a fellow blogger once told me, she doesn’t lie she is just economical with the truth.
I went to the maintenance area. They keep those steel toed safety boots there. I put on a pair and went back to the office. Stepping into the chocolate, I made sure to leave visible tracks back to the workshop. There I left the boots and walked barefoot back to my office.
Oh, I suppose there is some ethical/moral lesson here but I’ve looked and looked and I can’t find it.