Warm and Fuzzy

By WR JONES

TheStreetWhereSheLives

Does this picture make you feel all warm?   It does?  You are a big dummy.   Do you want to buy subscriptions to 23 magazines to help you pass the time in the bathroom?  I need to go to summer camp.

That tall patch of weeds in front of the house holds 2 worn tires, a rusty dripping oil can, a spilled box of rat posion, mattress with springs sticking out, a 1966 Honda on blocks, and one of those old plastic 6 pack holders used to snare ducks.  You can’t find those pastic holders any more; they stopped making those things.  I think I will take it to Antiques Roadshow to see what it is worth.

Looks are deceiving; OK- not mine, I look like a weasel.

In the cafeteria at work, since the company has gone “Green”, there are big posters that start with “DID YOU KNOW” and continue with “We recyle our cooking oil” or “our garbage is sorted to reclaim resources”.   Oh really?   Did you know your cups are styrofoam, your plates are styrofoam, your untensils are plastic.   And guess what, not all that stuff ends up in your garbage to be reclaimed.

I don’t think I would like to sort through garbage to reclaim a plastic fork.   If they do pick it up, do they wash it or melt it down to create another plastic fork?   If it is the latter which I strongly suspect, it burns more resources creating more pollution.

If I had the recyle contract I would pull out the knives, forks, and spoons, wipe them on my pant leg and toss them into a sorted box for resale back to the cafeteria.   This would save a lot of energy and my pants are already ruined by paint.   A win win deal would be the recyling of bacteria back into the general company population which would toughen those people up.

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This entry was posted in Humor, Landscape, Rants. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Warm and Fuzzy

  1. Nava says:

    Hey Bill – this painting did make me feel all warm. Because it had a familiar feel to it. Almost as if I’ve seen it in a precious lifetime. Or more accurately, in your “Migrating Paint” post of yours from July…

    So, you decided to go green and recycle paintings now?

    I like your resale recycling plan. I won’t eat in that cafeteria, though.

  2. wrjones says:

    Nava – thanks. I didn’t mean to recycle. Put up the wrong painting. Wow you have a good memory and have saved me from public humiliation. Can I interest you in a subscription to Better Homes and Gardens? You can see I need a few weeks at summer camp to recover.

  3. Carol King says:

    Is that *your* house with all that stuff in the weeds? Perhaps you need to add a dumpster to your painting.

  4. I guess a painting, like statistics or the news, can be made to portray whatever the creator decides.

    It IS nice to be able to have things the way one wants them, even if its only a painting and not the real world. Editing out the rusty cans, old tires and ruined mattress in the yard is one way of cleaning up the neighborhood.

  5. swatch says:

    This is thought provoking stuff. A pretty painting and a comment to step on the rose-coloured specs. Of course, your cutlery recycle plan would also accomplish your win-win bacteria recycle. Why not float it to your Directors? You could start a company and get the process going throughout the country. Then the CIA would pay you the big bucks to take it global for their next release of H1N1 – heh heh

    One of the ‘possibly related posts’ was a CNN article on the Garbage Patch in the Pacific ocean that is full of floating plastic but not dense enough to do anything about.

  6. rahinaqh says:

    ok so my kids would call it home… well i guess they never were the brightest:))
    particularly love your handling of the shadows and the trees. and you’ve captured the warmth of a summers day here. r.

  7. DAnu says:

    Oh, how I missed your humour! You made my day! and there is a name for what you describe there, at the beginning…it<s called pittoresque… picturesque in /english? Great stuff, man!

  8. DAnu says:

    And I,m not too mad on you because you get me out of your blogroll… I was absent so much!…

  9. Rhonda says:

    Bill, you created a very surprised laugh from me this morning which made me feel better – I was feeling a big grumpy (nothing like your awe-inspiring grumpiness but pretty grumpy, for me). Where is that cafeteria? I need to know so I don’t eat there…ever! Maybe you’d do better with your magazine sales if you sold us art magazines?

  10. Barbara Pask says:

    I LOVE this painting Bill, it does make me feel good. :)

  11. wrjones says:

    Carol – No, the weeds at this house are too small. I have shade weeds that I use to cool the house. At least that is the reason I give the wife for not doing yard work.

    Diane – good point. My stories tend to paint me in a better light than a reality camera following me around would show.

    Swatch – I don’t even like to take off my rose colored glasses to paint. I read a book that claimed there was 6 times more microscopic plastic floating in the ocean than food that the filtering fish eat. And nothing breaks down the plastic. There is a plastic that is supposed to bio degrade in UV light but landfills and the ocean depths don’t get that light.

    Rahina – thanks. Your kids are probably the smartest in Scotland. Of course that may have come from dad. Still, there is no way to prove that so you go ahead and take all the credit. I think that early exposure to music and carrots may have done the trick.

    Rhonda – Glad you are feeling better. I could sell you a subscription to my paintings. I’ll write a little something on each one and you can staple them together to make a book. Probably not a child’s book; need to be over 40 for the language I use.

    Barbara – thanks. I bet you are putting peanut butter on your toast with stainless steel.

  12. Bill,
    I think you need to preserve your painting pants with all the organic matter that you collect from wiping the knives and forks.You never know when you might need to boil them up for soup as a starving artist. ne?
    K

  13. InkSplodge! says:

    Well this damned humidity is making me warm and fuzzy…and a bit cranky. And who has time to read magazines anyway? ‘Specially not in the bathroom – eeurgh!

    Did you put a note into the suggestion box at work? You know one day those pants of yours could just be seen as a work of art. :lol:

    Almost forgot to say that the painting is great – wish I could paint buildings like that.

  14. wrjones says:

    K – That is an excellent idea. On the order of nail soup. Say, do you think you could get with your neighbors and have another garage sale to move some of these paintings of mine?

    InkSplodge – I bet your skin is soft in that humidity. Look at the bright side. I’ll frame the pants and send them to you. They will look good over the mantle. Also you may find a plastic spoon or fork you could use for those special guests.

  15. Erin M says:

    Well, if it isn’t Little Mary Sunshine!

    Thanks for the laugh…I’ll let you skim the pool for all the loose band-aids…maybe you can find a place that will take them to help make those “reclaimed resource” forks you’ve been using.

  16. wrjones says:

    Erin – Skim the pool will work. As you know I spend most of my time on the bottom anyway. I’ll pick up the diapers too.

  17. wrjones says:

    Danu – Hi. Glad to see you are still around. Yes I removed you from the blogroll due to inactivity. Happy to add you back!

  18. Jala Pfaff says:

    Definitely a win-win.
    By the way, cornstarch cutlery looks and feels just like plastic, but biodegrades quickly. It’s the only stuff allowed at our farmers’ market.

  19. wrjones says:

    Jala – Never heard of it. I wonder what the cost is compared to plastic. Are you sure they are being honest with you? What happens when you boil it?

  20. Oh….yeah….I see the rusty Honda, but I like my rose colored glasses and this looks just like street Dick and Jane grew up on ;)
    Um, what ever happened to the cafeteria having a dishwasher (a job for a human or two) and stainless cutlery? Wonder what the cost comparison is there between the employee salary, the stainless cutlery and the cost of recycling the plastic?
    You really get me thinking here.

  21. gypsy-heart says:

    I really like both of your “house portraits” …not sure which is my favorite, as both are inviting.

    I see that you are still as crazy as ever. :)

  22. wrjones says:

    Mary – good eyes. I’m into rose colored glasses as well.

    gypsy-heart – thanks. You can move into which ever you prefer.

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