By W.R. Jones
I’m going to have a fabulous studio when I buy my next place. Then I can have these models over instead of asking them to disrobe and sit on the end of the bar.
I thought with the economy collapsing I would be able to pick up a house for a song. Huh-uh not even for an album. Here’s one, 2800 sq ft on 5500 sq ft lot for only $769,000. Oh my goodness, they are giving it away! 5500 seems a bit small for a yard with a house. Still, less work for the wife as I see it.
The real estate people seem to be stuck in a rut with WORDS of whiffledust. This gorgeous property “boasts luxurious vaulted ceilings”. Can a house boast? Very creepy. You walk into the house and hear a deep voice (vaulted ceilings would give a bass voice I think) saying, “hey, mister buyer, check out my luxurious vaulted ceilings. If you move in, could you clean off the cobwebs?”
Generous maid’s quarters – this is for a 3800 sq ft home. A tad small for a maid I’m thinking. But if she is generous I would let her stay.
Breath taking view. Does this mean the house is cantilevered over a 1000 ft drop? Do you get an oxygen tank with the purchase? Would they warn you not to smoke when you have the oxygen on?
“Situated on a sprawling 17,550 sq ft lot.” that doesn’t feel like sprawling to me. 5000 acres is sprawling or even 500 acres. I think I will do that; buy acres. I can see it in my mind’s eye. A long curving private road leading up to the house. Lined with stately pine trees and a rose covered fence the road takes the awed visitor to a huge circular parking area dominated by a large fountain (probably the size of the David). Around the parking area is a plethora of honeysuckle and jasmine. The air is sticky sweet. Just the way I like it. A magnificent flagstone path winds through a beautiful flower garden. It leads to the side porch of the … single wide trailer. Doggone it (is it ok to say this Diana?) I ran out of money.