By W.R. Jones, painting by Erika L. Jones
You should be a LITTLE selective as to what you put into your mouth. Not me, I’ll eat any damn thing. I remember eating a a McDonalds when I was a teenager; hamburgers were $0.15 and fries $0.10. This was quite a savings as hamburgers at a regular cafe were $0.25.
The other day I had a burrito (sort of a burrito anyway) at a Mickey D’s. What the hell? How can anything tasting this bad make it into such a giant food company? The sausage was terrible, the sauce worse. So, it starts one to thinking, “how is it possible that this company is still in business?”
What must your mother’s cooking be like that you would touch your lips to a McBurrito. They use the term burrito as a reference to a shape only. Nothing to do with an authentic burrito taste.
I can’t explain why I ate the whole thing; really hungry I guess. I would take a bite and think this is awful. Then after a half minute or so I could remember that the flavor didn’t agree with me, but not the degree of abuse to my taste buds, and so I would take another bite. In this manner I ate my way through the whole thing. It wasn’t all that big thankfully.
I suppose my internal engine doesn’t really care how I suffer to get the calories as long as they keep coming. I have no idea how many calories were in this thing but I do know the ratio of taste/calories was 0 or perhaps even negative.
How in the world did they come up with the recipe for this thing? Do they have a panel that tries various spices, burrito parts, etc? Do they line up a bunch of sample burritos and take a bite of each, then spit it into a bucket while writing their opinion on a clipboard? I’m thinking if they took a bite of mine they would be out of the food tasting business for at least a week in a taste bud recovery program.
I’m also sorely disappointed in the American eater. Not only is he fat but he can’t tell shit from applesause if he eats McBurritos and comes back for more.
And me – I’m having a very tasty Big Mac with supersized fries and an extra large Big Gulp I bought from Gupta down to the 7Eleven.