McCrap

By W.R. Jones, painting by Erika L. Jones

Mouth Study by Erika

    You should be a LITTLE selective as to what you put into your mouth.  Not me, I’ll eat any damn thing.  I remember eating a a McDonalds when I was a teenager; hamburgers were $0.15 and fries $0.10.   This was quite a savings as hamburgers at a regular cafe were $0.25.

    The other day I had a burrito (sort of a burrito anyway) at a Mickey D’s.   What the hell?   How can anything tasting this bad make it into such a giant food company?   The sausage was terrible, the sauce worse.   So, it starts one to thinking, “how is it possible that this company is still in business?”  

    What must your mother’s cooking be like that you would touch your lips to a McBurrito.   They use the term burrito as a reference to a shape only.  Nothing to do with an authentic burrito taste.  

    I can’t explain why I ate the whole thing; really hungry I guess.   I would take a bite and think this is awful.   Then after a half minute or so I could remember that the flavor didn’t agree with me, but not the degree of abuse to my taste buds, and so I would take another bite.   In this manner I ate my way through the whole thing.  It wasn’t all that big thankfully.  

    I suppose my internal engine doesn’t really care how I suffer to get the calories  as long as they keep coming.   I have no idea how many calories were in this thing but I do know the ratio of taste/calories was 0 or perhaps even negative.

    How in the world did they come up with the recipe for this thing?   Do they have a panel that tries various spices, burrito parts, etc?  Do they line up a bunch of sample burritos and take a bite of each, then spit it into a bucket while writing their opinion on a clipboard?   I’m thinking if they took a bite of mine they would be out of the food tasting business for at least a week in a taste bud recovery program.

    I’m also sorely disappointed in the American eater.  Not only is he fat but he can’t tell shit from applesause if he eats McBurritos and comes back for more.

     And me –  I’m having a very tasty Big Mac with supersized fries and an extra large Big Gulp I bought from Gupta down to the 7Eleven.

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17 Responses to McCrap

  1. donna says:

    We made the mistake of going to Paris last week and now I can’t eat American food.

    I am shocked that McDonalds survives even there, not to mention Starbucks. Guess lots of American tourists just need their fix.

    Then again, when we visited Ireland, all the kids there were drinking Bud Light. We just shook our heads at them as we sipped our Guinness and Caffreys…

  2. Jala Pfaff says:

    “Burrito parts”?! Ewwwww!

  3. My dad always like to say that the trouble with most people is that their taste is all in their mouths.

  4. What an amazing picture. I like this mask/face that’s so very enigmatic.

    Did you think with all the talk about eating, that we would not notice with amazement this face that looks at us?

    without eyes ????

    I said you’re deep. I’m sticking with it.

  5. Rebecca says:

    there’s something called a mcburrito? LOLOLOLOLOL

    $.15? I might remember my grandmother telling me a story about that.

    Ok, maybe I remember! I do remember, however, when the sign said, “Over a million served”…then one, day it said millions and millions served!!

  6. wrjones says:

    Donna – did you have any French fries in Paris?

    Jala – you got that right.

    Diana – your dad was correct.

    Aletha – I think food is more important than painting. The color red was created for catsup to put on fries.

    Rebecca – Your grandmother and I probably ate at the same place. The water aerobics teacher asked me about you last week. She saw your name on facebook and as I recall one of her relatives knows you.

  7. Carol King says:

    I love the ratio of taste/calories! I’m going with a negative number here.

    Can you see that beautiful mouth open and a Bic Mac gets shoved into it? Yuck! Maybe she had too many Big Macs and that’s why she lost the rest of her face?

    Lovely painting. Erika has your talent AND she’s a doctor. Impressive!!!!

  8. I was living in Rheims when the Paris MacDo was opened. We went in to Paris for business and ended up trying it out.
    I couldn’t believe the number of Parisians that flocked to it (advertising hype has its purposes) to pay for shoeleather hamburgers and Belgian Frites (fries). It’s a little bit cannibalistic to think of French people eating French Fries, isn’t it?
    Not only that, they paid five dollars for a MacDo coffee! It wasn’t cheap; nor good! Not even economical.
    Sexy painting!
    K

  9. I’ve been losing sleep trying to figure out when hamburgers were 15 cents at McD’s. Maybe they were about that in the mid-60s when I was in h.s.? I think I remember getting a burger, fries and small Dr. Pepper, tax included, for around half a buck. It’s a little foggy, like many memories from that long ago.

    I’m also trying to figure out why anyone over 18 would eat at McD’s now.

  10. rahinaqh says:

    Erika lovely composition and love the contrast of shadow and light, really works.
    Bill, I dislike McD’s (fullstop). It’s the after taste of anything you eat in there, like the oil the cook the cardboard in is diesel.

  11. wrjones says:

    Carol – those cakes of yours look like they might have a good ratio. 1/1 is fine.

    K – $5 for coffee? Wow. That should cut down on the use of caffine.

    Diana – I may be a tad bit older than you so don’t rack your brain remembering that price. By the time you were a teen the price was probably $1.50. I can also remember the movies increasing the price of a ticket from $0.05 to $0.10. And it was the only air conditioned building in town so was really worth it in the hot summer days.

    Rahina – what is your favorite Scottish dish? Do they have a fast food place serving a national favorite?

  12. Bill, a burrito with sausage? ugh! come to California! we have an infinite supply of divine burritos. Holly

  13. wrjones says:

    Holly – I live in southern California. With a few exceptions, the Mexican food here sucks. New Mexico seems to have better quality but maybe I just happend on to a few good ones in a row and drew a wrong conclusion.

  14. rahinaqh says:

    Bill in Scotland one of my favourite dishes is fish and chips (though i rarely have it cos it is fried in oil). The best type has to be with fresh haddock (some use frozen fish which is awful) with a good batter on it, fried in sunflower oil and served with chunky chips and peas. Vinegar is a must. And scotch pancakes are great too. However, I love Italian food :)

  15. Barbara Pask says:

    I have always said that the children are what keep McDonalds in business, they make the parents go there because they want the toys. They know what they are doing. Can’t cook but then they don’t have too, lol.

  16. Rebecca says:

    Bill,

    I’d like to know who it is that knows your water aerobics instructor. (maybe I could get some insider info) hehe

    Oh, forgot to mention, my parents go to Paris every year, and my Dad makes the trek each morning to fetch my Mother a cup of coffee at McDonalds, while she’s getting ready! (apparently, the coffee is better in France)

  17. wrjones says:

    Rahina – I will be right over.

    Barbara – I think we should have some of those trout your husband catches. We could paint while he catches and cooks.

    Rebecca – I’m taking the class tonight. I will ask if I can remember. I thought she said some relative of hers knew you or at least was connected to you through facebook.

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