Really, Can Anything Else Go Wrong?

By W. R. Jones


    This is a painting of Antietam National Batttlefield.   This tree is too young to have been there during the battle.  But I can imagine a young scared soldier hiding behind these  rocks saying to his friend next to him, ‘Ernie, you know, walking behind that plow mule don’t seem so boring after all.  Do you think sarg will mind if I mosey on home?”

    Getting ready to coat this finished piece with Liquin I pushed aside a Pepsi Max can half filled with Ciroc to make room and spilled the can onto my laptop.   In a panic to clean up the computer, I knocked over a lamp.   I grabbed for  the lamp (which, by the way, failed).   While trying to catch the lamp I knocked over my easel.   I grabbed for the easel (which, by the way, failed).   My attempt to save the easel led to my stepping  on a broken piece of lamp glass.

     Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.    I’m never painting again.   I think I will take up welding.

This entry was posted in Humor, Landscape, Painting. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Really, Can Anything Else Go Wrong?

  1. swatch says:

    The chaos around your finishing exercise kind of illustrates the rest of your little story about the soldiers behind the rock. Would that war mongers would swear off their trade with the same passion.

    I hope you have redeemed the work – I really like the painting.

  2. Anna Surface says:

    LOL on the knocking over this and that… uh, welding? Nah… the painting is wonderful, and I enjoyed what you had written about the soldiers.

  3. Rebecca says:

    You have threatened before. I’m thankful they are usually idle threats, as I leave longing for more. On the flip side, if you never painted again, I would still come to read. :)

  4. Bill Sharp says:

    I actually have a little welding job I need done …
    Very cool painting – pun intended.

  5. donna says:

    This must be why I haven’t painted for a while.

  6. Bonnie Luria says:

    Three, Three, Three Stooges in one.
    You musn’t consider giving up painting. Ever.
    What you might consider is designating all areas around the computer to be no- spill zones.
    I’m sorry….but this is such a zany series of images that if I was to witness it, I’d be laughing while reaching for a bandage and peroxide.

    I do like the tree.
    PS- Welding is much more dangerous than painting.


    That’s the best reason to use the F word I’ve heard in a really long time…
    How much of that story is true???? If it is even slightly exaggerated, then I do hope you are alright and that you continue painting.

    I also hope you don’t take up welding…. I’ve got these horrible visual images springing up in my mind and they have nothing to do with your beautiful paintings going awry.

  8. Carol King says:

    DO NOT

    Nice painting. I like your rocks.

  9. Lori says:

    Well it looks like you used up a year’s bad luck in a few minutes, you probably should go out and buy a lottery ticket. But you got to split the winnings with me for the idea!

    I like the painting, it looks nice and peaceful for a battlefield. I hope the puter doesn’t keep putting all those extra letters in. Battlefield does look kind of cool with the extra tees.

    Glad you like my palm trees, thanks! :)

  10. Bill,

    Don’t make us get tough with you.

    PAINT. Okay?

    Period. It’s not negotiable.


    PS – Marian Fortunati’s comment reminds me — they got a wonderfully welded piece of Garbage on a lintle above the entrace of the “Study Center” at the National Gallery of Art’s Center for the Advanced Study of the Visual Arts (CASVA) in Washington.

    And if you EVER do anything remotely like it, I’m coming after you! How many here will join me for the intervention??

    Snap out of it. (And Lisa in China … who’s minding the store?)

    Excuse me, I think I need some “warm fusion” now.

  11. Jala Pfaff says:

    You have GOT to be kidding…surely??!!

    Nice painting, though.

  12. Rhonda says:

    Bill, I’m glad you’re just threatening to quit because we will not let you do that! And I think some wise woman said (yes, I’m sure it was a woman), “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong,” and that should be your motto for this one. Now, clean up as best you can and get back to painting.

  13. What in heavens are you doing, Bill? Rube Goldberg imitating!

  14. wrjones says:

    Swatch – thanks. I will consider my life an illustration of how not to do stuff.

    Anna – you are probably right about the welding. I would just leave holes everywhere like my knitting.

    Rebecca – oh I’m painting alright. I got back on that particular horse. He won’t throw me this time. I super glued my ass to the saddle.

    Bill – I will be right over. Do you have any good pants I can wear to weld in? I’ve burned holes in all of mine.

    Donna – thanks for stopping by. Yes, take this as a warning and simply drink for a relaxing hobby.

    Bonnie – I understand that New York beauty is coming for a visit. I expect my invitation is in the mail, huh? Ya, about the welding. When I volunteered to weld on the neighbor’s bike the weld didn’t hold. Still he doesn’t really have a place to keep the bike anyway since the garage burned down.

    Marian – This is one of my rare stories that is completely accurate. I think you are right about welding. It is, however, a quick method to cauterize exposed flesh.

    Sure, Carol, NOW you tell me about welding. It looked simple enough.

    Lori – thanks. I’ve got the feeling there may be some spare bad luck out there to flesh out the year.

    Aletha – I’m painting I’m painting. I think maybe Lisa died in China which really bums me out as she was suppose to bring me a surprise.

    Jala – Thanks. Nope – not kidding.

    Rhonda – I’m painting. That wise woman left out the part about stuff that can’t possibly go bad heading south as well.

    David – It is a Rube Goldbird ballet of disaster I guess.

  15. gypsy-heart says:

    I like your words about the soldier and your painting. It is very nice!! I would like to step into it and just sit for a spell. :)

    …and yes it could have been could have damaged the painting!!

  16. Oh Bill,
    We wouldn’t want to see that, would we?
    If you can do all of that with a little bit of painting supplies, what possible mischief could you get into with a torch in your hand?

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