By WR Jones, painting by EL Jones
My daugher, Erika, a medical student, was telling me about interviewing a liver transplant patient. This patient had been an alcoholic and IV drug user. I don’t get the scoring system that allows someone who knowingly or just plain shit all stupidly destroyed their liver to receive a liver from a donor. Are there not more worthy recepients?
I remember when Mickey Mantle received a liver only to die a short time later of cancer. Well, no big deal if he hadn’t destroyed his own liver with heavy drinking such as I’m doing while writing this post. And, hell yes, this logic does not apply to me at ALL. Painters should be given special privliges to make up for all the suffering.
What suffering you ask. It is true I do diddly squat around the house and less at the workplace. OK, OK, I will tell you what suffering. Twice – that is double once for you math challenged (and the governing board is letting you all into the special olympics next year), I have tried to order stuff from those who did not learn English as a first language.
In each case I made a simple request for a hamburger with light mayo and a few onions. What I get is EVERYTHING but what I ask for. What the hell. How hard is an order for a hamburger with a little mayo and a few onions? Nigh on impossible for the fast food joints around here.
My solution – test all those Mexican’s crossing the border. Have a portable grill and ask for a hamburger with light mayo and onions. If they fail, give them counseling on the opportunties in cooking meth and selling crack from the street corner. We’ve just got to find someone to take responsiblity for giving us a burger with light mayo and onions.
On Painting 
There is something beyond this painting in a message one has to discover, Bill. I’m glad the heart weighs more than the coins…gives me hope. As for the problem with getting a burger as you ordered, well maybe it’s time to go vegetarian??
Bill, I feel your paint. Indeed, you are no stranger to suffering. Is your daughter as witty as you?
What a cool painting–your daughter is a painter too?
What’s that you say? Heavy on the mayo, extra onions? Got it.
Gosh … suffering from “wrongly prepared hamburger” is bound to tally up the daily stress points and might give you parasites too. I’d definitely stay away from this place and any other eating establishment where the help doesn’t speak your language.
The painting is indeed interesting and thought-provoking. Kudos to your obviously talented and intelligent daughter.
Rhonda – I’m on peanut butter and crackers and the occasional road kill squirrel. Is that the same as vegan?
Connie – My daughter is brighter than me. She does have a sense of humor, but unlike me she also knows when to keep quiet.
Jala – she does paint once in a while but mostly does not have time.
Diana – thanks. My daughter is a neat person and very smart, however, she has been a disappointment in that she refuses to help me steal flowers from the neighbor. And I had to raid the neighbor’s yard for eggs myself. She talks about ethics – must have been something she got from her mother.
wonderful works of art. and thank you for your funny comment, it’s probably the best thing i can do with those grapes. all the best r.
It’s not possible. You have to order Hamburger, with onion only. Scrape some onion off just before adding the mayo yourself. Eric orders hamburger with ketchup and onion only! If he gets pickles, they come off by hand. The meal deal only comes with Cheeseburger…He refuses to request no cheese, afraid of spit. So, he scrapes off the cheese afterward.
please visit blog for letter on theft by Comcast!
ps. um, nice painting?
I will check for your blog on theft. I usually order plain hamburger and scrape the spit off.
Rahina – glad to be of help with the grape/wine issue. Please let me know if you ever decide to paint a stack of Vicodin. I can help with that as well.
Rebecca – I read your post on theft. Sorry, I could not help but laugh. Ineptitude of that proportion is sure to get a chuckle like the keystone kops. Your frustration must be through the roof.
Very thought provoking painting and title. Love it!
Your sarcasm his hilarious…enjoyed reading all the comments.