Hog Wild

By W.R. Jones


    This falls under the “are you shitting  me” umbrella.   I just read where a jury awarded a motorcycle rider 8.9 Million dollars because he was injured when his bike hit a wild boar crossing the road.

    So his attorney’s argument was that the state or  county or whatever were responsible.  They should have known the hogs posed a risk.

    Really, how is it that they drum up a passel of stupid jurors so often?  And can’t the  judge just tell the balif to shoot all the  jurors as they are too stupid to be wandering the streets.  They pose a danger to moroncycle riders.

    Wild animals are unpredictable about crossing roads – DUH.    Imagine if a group suggested shooting all the wild boars as they pose a risk to drivers.   You can feel the national  outcry.  

     So, if we are concerned with saving our ornately tattooed motorcycle riders, shouldn’t we shoot all the deer, elk, coyotes, squirrels, cats and dogs, and children under the age of 18.    They pose a danger of  running amok in the streets that clearly belong to the moroncycle riders.

    My KINGDOM  for a person with COMMON sense.

    Did hims hurt hims self?   Let mumkins get an attorney for baby boy.

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30 Responses to Hog Wild

  1. carolking says:

    I don’t know why they call it COMMON sense. Clearly it’s not very common.

    I’m with you on this topic!

    (Ornately tattooed motorcycle riders! – Funny!)

  2. Anna Surface says:

    “moroncycle riders” LOL Heck, they even have commercials about the pesky, tricky squirrels causing accidents. What about insects? If a bee stings you, can you sue? Good grief! Gee… All Kansans would be millionaires if each sued and won for hitting a deer.

    “…“are you shitting me” umbrella” Yeah, I’m with you under that umbrella.

  3. Rebecca says:

    Don’t be shitting me, you’re over 47!

  4. Rebecca says:

    ps. need your number so i can textually harrass on my iphone. or you could tweet at me!

  5. Dawn says:

    Amen! Glad to know you think this way…I’ve been starting to wonder if something was wrong with me.

    What ever happened to being a responsible adult!

  6. wrjones says:

    Carol – The proper phrase is “ornately tattooed gentlemen”, you know, the kind your daughter brings home.

    Anna – excellent point we need to get rid of the insects as well. They could poke an eye out.

    Rebecca – 47 was a while back for me. I don’t know why I picked that number. I really like middle aged women, you know; 12, 13. So I gave you my number. Try to wait for the middle of the night so you can wake me up to go pee.

    Dawn – this country, lead by lawyers has long moved toward it must be someone’s fault. Who is going to pay for my screwup. Jurors, being, on average, dumber than 40 water buffalo, follow the silver tongued attorney and award rediculous sums to the truely stupid. They don’t stop to consider they are also going to be paying for this man’s stupidity. The question to the jury should be: “ok, how much are you willing to give this person for the rest of your life?”

    Marian – I like short succinct agreement! Actually, I will take agreement of any length. Lisa tends to disagree at very great length about anything I say. I guess I’d better not irk her too much or she won’t let me borrow her bathtub book.

  7. Jala Pfaff says:

    “Did hims hurt his self?”–hahahaha!!
    Well, you know, it’s just like “Please stay behind railing; falling one thousand feet may result in injury or death” or “Caution: Coffee is hot!” on McDonald’s lids… the problems are: 1) generally stupid population, and 2) excessive litigation.

  8. wrjones says:

    Jala – You used words from my own post. That is copyright infringement and has hurt me deeply. My attorney will be contacting your attorney to see if lots and lots of money can make me feel better again.

  9. I too share your thoughts on this. I used to work in insurance, key words ‘used to’. The mindset drove me nuts. What ever happened to taking some responsibility for your own actions, assumption of risk, etc???? My hat is off to you, great comments. Love it!

  10. Rebecca says:

    I’ll work on that! I’ll text you when I get up to pee.

  11. Rebecca says:

    ps. are you sure she didn’t drop that book in the toilet? you never know

  12. wrjones says:

    Kathleen – I went to your site and looked at your glass “Grand Tetons at the Snake River” – beautiful!

    Rebecca – drink a beer so I can get some text soon. That would be just like her to give me a toilet book.

  13. Hey thanks for taking the time to look at my work. Appreciate the feedback and I’m glad you like the Grand Tetons piece. It is my all time favorite. :)

  14. Rebecca says:

    Wow, Kathleen, a compliment..
    I just get his smart ass comments..
    Oh, btw, Bill…this morning, I found the perfect weed…

  15. wrjones says:

    Rebecca – I’m so excited. Can’t wait to either see the painting or smoke the stuff. For medicinal purposes only, you understand. Lisa gives me a headache and also is a big pain in the ….

  16. Rebecca, you just crack me up girl! Thanks for indulging us Bill.

  17. gypsy-heart says:

    Hmmm..I guess all the non local people water skiing where alligators swim are law suits waiting to happen.

    I like your little rendering of the hog. :)

  18. wrjones says:

    Gypsy-heart – Thanks. Ya, I forgot about the gators. They will have to go along with those pesky flamingos.

  19. Jala Pfaff says:

    No, don’t do that. That would be EXCESSIVE.

  20. This why we ride to the bar…and stay there…but you can bet when I fall off that bar stool….I’M SUEING – NO SEATBELT! Ha ha.

    Seriously, thats why we won’t ride with all the yuppies who think that buying a $20K bike makes them “Bikers”. Riding is serious business and part of it is being aware.

    By the way, one of the biggest threats to real riders are all of the “newbies” out there.

  21. I like your Kingdom of Common Sense as well as your picture.

  22. wrjones says:

    Jala – OK, I won’t kill the flamingos.

    Cara – Shoot the newbies.

    Preston – thanks. I’m afraid the Kingdom of Common Sense is sparcely populated.

  23. You are not going to believe this Bill…I’m almost 100% confident that one of the jurors in Monterey county on this case was my brother!!! I think that the devil may be in the details…or… there maybe more than meets the eye on this. I’ll talk to my brother and get back to you. Small, small world!

  24. wrjones says:

    David – please get back to me on this. I would like to hear how not controlling wild pigs entitles this man to 9 Million.

  25. Suing the state for not controlling wildlife only works in places like California. Too bad it won’t work in Idaho because the deer keep jumping out in front of us on the highways here. But Idaho is one of those old-fashioned governments that still believes you shouldn’t spend more money than you have.

  26. wrjones says:

    Diana – I would not be surprised if there were more deer in California than Idaho. I see them 30 feet away on people’s lawns enjoying the grass. That is what is so puzzling about this award. I don’t see any difference between deer and wild hogs as far as trying to control their movement.

    There are other states that do stupid things besides California. Like the Iowa courts years ago that awarded a burlar a big settlement because the house he tried to rob was booby trapped and he got injured.

    Do you mean to tell me that the state of Idaho can keep an economy going without spending more than it can ever hope to get back? Gosh, they must have have Suzie Orman as governor.

  27. Well I don’t know about numbers of deer here compared with California, but if you ever visit up here please drive slow. It’s the Bermuda Triangle of Deer Crossings.

    My folks were up here last year from OKC in a rented car from the airport and hit a deer. My dad was terribly insulted that “the deer just jumped right out in front of us!”

    Yeah, they do that.

  28. wrjones says:

    Diana – Yes they are quick. I remember driving along a country road in Iowa and watching a small group of deer running parallel to me in a field. I wondered how they were going to get over the fence then boing boing – two bounds; one jump over fence to middle of road and the next from middle of road over fence on the other side.

    I also watched a herd of elk crossing a road in Colorado where all jumped the fence easily except the very last calf who finally crawled between strands and went running to catch the rest.

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