By W.R. Jones
I mean, really, what are the odds? Maybe there is a higher power doing intelligent design, and who holds some type of grudge against me.
Thursday, I took a water aerobics class with Erin. I went early to practice my “eggbeater” water treading technique. This consists of me hanging on to one of those spaghetti float things then dangling my legs and flailing them ineffectually for 10 minutes before I completely poop out.
Seeing Erin before getting into the pool I made the mistake of being truthful; a new idea for me. I told her today I was going to pee BEFORE getting into the pool. She is very quick. I didn’t see that hand coming at all. I heard the pop against my left ear further damaging my hearing on the left side.
It snapped my head back. I saw these clouds.
So yesterday, after finishing this painting, I decided to take a muscle conditioning class since, due to rain, I didn’t do my walk. Wouldn’t you know. Erin was teaching. I went to the bathroom before the class. As I was walking back to the exercise room I met her in the hallway where she said she thought she had lost me. Seeing an opportunity to test her sense of humour I told her I had to go out to the pool to pee before class.
I never saw the hand coming. I felt it pop against my right ear. She hits hard with the left hand as well; now I can’t hear a damn thing. I wonder if marijuana will help the pain.