Making Coffee

By WR Jones


    This is a pencil drawing I did of a woman I went early morning cow drawing with in Montana.    She could draw them pretty good.  Mine sort of looked like they were genetically misprogrammed sheep dangling from trees.   Cow drawing is deceptive.  They do graze slowly so you think you have time.   Just as you get to that leg, they move it one step forward.   Ok, take a breath and wait for her to move again.  She does as she is TURNING.   Is it correct English to call a cow a bitch; as in hold still you bitch?

    Anyway, as is my norm, this drawing has nothing whatsoever to do with the subject of this post.   Anna Surface  and  gypsy-heart  commented on my last known act of idiocy sharing their tiny blunders.   Anna made coffee with the carafe missing.   Who amoung us has not done that a time or two?   Gypsy-heart shared her use of a bag too small to hold the beans she was grinding at the store.   I would never do anything that dumb.

    When I told my wife I would handle the coffee I was nonchalantly confident in my ability to handle this small task.   Any twit realizes if you use the same bag you filled with whole beans to collect the ground beans, they have to fit.    So I poured the whole beans into the grinder and placed the same, now empty, bag underneath.   Apparently it takes a special twit to place the bag under the spigot and not in front of.  

    I wandered off to look for cookies while my beans were being ground.   I returned to find a cone shaped pile of grounds on the store aisle.   There was a store employee standing over said pile using very bad language.   I pointed out my wife as being the woman who wanted coffee.   I felt the poor man needed someone to vent on before he had a stroke.

    You will be pleased to know I found my favorite cookies.   I took them to the counter at the front of the store to wait for my wife.   I felt it was thoughtful of me not to make her look for the cookies.

This entry was posted in Drawing, Humor, On Suffering, Portrait. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Making Coffee

  1. Davis says:

    What a wonderful job you did.

  2. Rebecca says:

    This has a certain similarity to the soda fountain. You either need to have your eyes checked or you are trying to make your wife do everything for you because you are clearly incapable. (That’s how I get many things done)

  3. Jala Pfaff says:

    Great portrait.

    “Early-Morning Cow Drawing 101”-sounds like a required course for college freshmen.

    And as always, thanks for the laugh!

  4. wrjones says:

    Thanks, Davis. With the drawinging or the coffee, or the shifty finger blame pointing?

    Rebecca – you are right there is a common thread of compleaeeet incompetency runing through my life. I’m not smart enough to plot using being an idiot to get out of work. I’m naturally shiftless. You may remember your mama whipping your butt for even talking to a man like me.

    Thanks, Jala. Drawing cows in Montana in the country early in the morning is a treat.

  5. kimiam says:

    Bills, naughty as always!

  6. wrjones says:

    Kimiam – I’m not ALWAYS bad.

  7. Rhonda says:

    Bill, I believe for a cow you would, in your very best British accent, say, “Stand still, you bloody cow!” and that would stop her in her tracks. This drawing is lovely and has such a wonderful energy. Much better than a sketch of a cow! As for the coffee, well maybe you aren’t drinking enough coffee as I’ve read that it stimulates your brain?

  8. kimiam says:

    That’s true, I guess I did exaggerate, bills. There are times, for example when you’re unconscious, that you are particularly well behaved.

  9. I agree, Bill, cows can be irritating. Here is another irritating critter story. I was out doing some plein air watercoloring yesterday on a ranch. Drove me nuts with the constant rooster yammering or whatever you call that sound they emit. At one point, I was trying to conduct an important cell phone conversation with a fellow artist living in the civilization zone and could not make out portions of what she was saying. Those damn roosters! I yelled out to them to “shut the fu-k up!!” The bastards (can we call roosters “bastards”?) are deaf and that is why they yammer are so loud. Irritating yes, but the h2o’s came out great, thank god!

  10. samartdog says:


    Great lively portrait!

    Jala said you were funny. Jala was right.

    Thanks to you, I now remember why I don’t drink coffee. It makes me eat too many cookies. That, and I used to know somebody who referred to coffee beans as dingle-berries. Ack.

  11. Bonnie Luria says:

    “Of course there was a mound of coffee on the supermarket aisle- they’re coffee grounds, that’s why they’re on the ground”, he said to the store clerk.

    I like the blowsy hair of your cowgal and the crinkle in her face. Nice portrait, Bill.

  12. Carol King says:

    Early morning cow drawing? Seriously? They have that?

    You can draw such a beautiful portrait of this woman and you can’t draw a cow cause they move too fast. Me thinks you are full of something. And it’s not coffee grounds.

  13. wrjones says:

    Rhonda – Thanks. I will try that. “Stand still you bloody cow!”. Those Montana cows will probably say, “Bossy, did you hear what I heard? Some damn Brit telling us not to graze. He can kiss my chips!”

    Kimiam – you know me so well it is like we have been friends forever.

    David – I like the sound of roosters. They don’t help my painting any though. I usually hear “shut the fu-k up” from the people I’m painting with. I don’t know why, I’m not crowing, just talking a little.

    samartdog – well first of all thanks for stopping by. Then, if you are a smart dog, shouldn’t you spell better? Mom used to call me a dingle berry. I still eat cookies.

    Bonnie of the beautiful foot – I really like the way you make sense of the situation no matter how out of hand it gets.

    Carol – Ya, you can draw cows in the morning. I don’t suppose you would see many on 5th Ave although some of those shoppers are probably called cows behind their backs by disgruntled spouses.

  14. samartdog says:

    My pleasure to visit, dude (you earned that “dude” by hangin with cows). Now about spelling. First, the computer corrected me when I spelled dingle berry w/out a hyphen, but Mom always knows best. And, the spelling is only as correct as the reading, i.e., my name is Sam, and I art dog. So, either I art a dog, or I paint, write for/about and love dogs. Actually, all of the above. I guess that makes me a bitch, tho I try not to be bitchy. But if you wanna think I’m a smart dog, thank you very much.

  15. Bill, i love how you captured her smile, and the wind in her hair. lovely! better than cows. Holly

  16. wrjones says:

    Samartdog – thanks for clearing that up.

    Holly – thanks. Cows are more fun to draw. Wish I was drawing some right now instead of holding my injured back and leg.

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