You’ll notice I have no picture to post today. That is because I recently received notice that one of my short stories was selected to be published in the Moorpark Review. That is a book that the college, where I take my creative writing class, puts out each year. I am very honored and excited by this, since it will be the first time that I will be published, and unless I start getting a whole lot more money from painting, I think I am going to become a writer for my next trick. No more Lisa the nice painter guy. Lisa is going to be off on book signing junkets around the world before you know it, and there will be a little tear rolling down the cheek of every student who waited to take her class, and every potential buyer who said, “I’ll buy next year.” And now that I have written that quote, I have a complaint to make that could resonant like a tidal wave in literary circles (once I become famous beyond the Moorpark Review). My entire adult life, it has annoyed me that periods and commas, come before the quote. I, as a published author, will work steadfastly to get that grammatical law, punishable by literary castration, changed. Think about it. The sentence contains more than the stinkin’ quote. Therefore, why not let the period follow the quote mark? Who the hell came up with that silly rule? Hawthorne? Pssshh.
And once the book hits the stands and tops the charts, and makes it in Oprah’s favorite book club, I expect each one of you to purchase a copy of it from the Moorpark College bookstore. Tell them Lisa sent you.