No Picture Today–Only Words. Sad? BUY.

by Lisa 

         You’ll notice I have no picture to post today. That is because I recently received notice that one of my short stories was selected to be published in the Moorpark Review. That is a book that the college, where I take my creative writing class,  puts out each year. I am very honored and excited by this, since it will be the first time that I will be published, and unless I start getting a whole lot more money from painting, I think I am going to become a writer for my next trick. No more Lisa the nice painter guy. Lisa is going to be off on book signing junkets around the world before you know it, and there will be a little tear rolling down the cheek of every student who waited to take her class, and every potential buyer who said, “I’ll buy next year.” And now that I have written that quote, I have a complaint to make that could resonant like a tidal wave in literary circles (once I become famous beyond the Moorpark Review). My entire adult life, it has annoyed me that periods and commas, come before the quote. I, as a published author, will work steadfastly to get that grammatical law, punishable by literary castration, changed. Think about it. The sentence contains more than the stinkin’ quote. Therefore, why not let the period follow the quote mark? Who the hell came up with that silly rule? Hawthorne? Pssshh.

       And once the book hits the stands and tops the charts, and makes it in Oprah’s favorite book club, I expect each one of you to purchase a copy of it from the Moorpark College bookstore. Tell them Lisa sent you.

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8 Responses to No Picture Today–Only Words. Sad? BUY.

  1. Georgia says:

    Does blogging on each other’s blogs qualify me as someone you know? I just want to be able to say when I see you on Oprah that(,) “I know Lisa!” (notice the comma??)

  2. Angela says:

    Hey – will you also see if you can start a movement to have question marks at the beginning and end of sentences the way it is in Spanish? I always like ‘hearing’ the right tone for a question in my head as I’m reading it – not afterwards. I think the same should be done with exclamation points.

  3. Rebecca says:

    How funny Lisa about the quotes. I am not surprised that you are also a writer, as gifted people tend to hoard the talents!! I will buy your book! I also realized how similar we are, as I am a writer too…so, will you buy mine (one day when I get published) and we are both on Oprah’s radar?

    You see, as the crazy world turns, it would figure that one of my goals for success is to have Oprah know I exist!! :) Is that weird?

    ps thanks for the comment on my post!

  4. Irene says:

    Congratulations, Lisa! I’ll buy your book too…two or three copies sold and you haven’t even written it. How cool is that? :)

  5. lbtowers says:

    Georgia, consider yourself known, but I think you need a period at the end of your sentence.

    Angela, good idea. I will totally add that to my list.

    Rebecca, I will also campaign to put sideways happy faces next to every humorous statement intended by the writer. Just in case. (I know that was a fragment.)

    THE GRAMMAR POLICE (watch out Bill!)

  6. Congratulations on your writing success! I am in total agreement on the punctuation/quotation marks issue. What WERE they thinking?

  7. Jala Pfaff says:


    Though I hate to say it, as a writer and a painter, I’ve so far made more money as a painter. And you KNOW that ain’t much.

  8. Rebecca says:

    A friend of mine from high school has made herself quite famous AND she has been on Oprah!!!
    Search for Grammar Girl if you haven’t heard of her. Mignon Fogerty. Really nice, very smart.
    And I think we should put in new puntuation references…
    ONE ! = Wow, that’s exciting!
    two !!= WOW’ that’s amazing!!
    three !!!= holy crap, I love to overexaggerate everything!!!

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