Resolutions

by Lisa

Everyone always asks about New Years’ resolutions. I usually don’t like to put pressure on myself to be any more perfect than I am.  Kidding. But it is true that no one ever sticks to them, because old habits die hard.  Just for kicks, I decided to go ahead and invent a few as if the world really were perfect and I aspire to head it.

1) I will paint MORE —  blog, cook, eat, talk on the phone, watch TV, walk the dog, exercise, knit cashmere thongs, clean my studio, and teach LESS. You hear that all you readers, family members who are too fat anyway, Nielsen ratings people, Peach, stomach muscles, recipients of my cashmere thong gifts, visitors to my studio, and students????? Now, leave me alone.  Awwww. This isn’t sounding like much fun already.

2) I will not patronize another Brad Pitt movie after seeing ‘Benjamin Button. Whew. Who was doing who to get that movie made? That is three hours – THREE HOURS of torture. Did I miss something? Have critics SEEN this movie? Wonder boy sure made a stinker there.  And how about Mama Mia? Good name for that movie since those are the two words you utter throughout it as you peek at the screen through your fingers and visibly cringe. I haven’t seen Doubt yet, but let’s hope Meryl Streep is better in that movie, ’cause she sure can’t sing. Hey, can you blame that whole cast and crew for wanting to make a movie in the Mediterranean regardless of the fact that it was drivel?

3) This year I will worry less. (But who will do it for me????)

4) I will buy less clothes.

5) I will not cook potato latkes for Christmas dinner next year, unless I can call in a cleaning crew to hose down the kitchen afterward. You HEAR THAT FAMILY OF MINE??? I WILL NOT COOK POTATO LATKES, AND YOU HAVE A WHOLE YEAR TO GET USED TO THE IDEA THAT LISA IS NOT A SLAVE TO THE KITCHEN ON CHRISTMAS DAY ANYMORE. NOW WHO’S GONNA STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND DO IT FROM NOW ON PEOPLE????

6) I will get my family to read my blog.

And I think that is enough pressure to put on myself for the new year. Oops. Since I sat down to write this, I have broken about three resolutions already. Oh well. There’s always next year.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Resolutions

  1. Dawn says:

    well said! Happy New Beginnings to you Bill! If we can at least maybe accomplish one out of 100 we are moving forward. I’m terrified of being stuck…or maybe realizing I’m stuck!!!

  2. Sometimes my Dad is the ONLY person reading my blog… It sure isn’t my husband or my kids….. My daughter informed me that there is no reason to read my blog. “Who wants to read someone writing about themselves???” Sheesh… Harsh!! Thank goodness Dad still reads it.

  3. lbtowers says:

    Hey Dawn, it’s me, Lisa, who wrote this post!

    And funny you should say that Marian, because my Dad is also the only one in my family who reads us as well. What’s up with that?

  4. Rhonda says:

    Good resolutions, Lisa. Getting your family to read your blog? Not sure that will ever happen – they figure they know you better so they don’t need to read what you are saying or see what you are working on. A few minutes a day wouldn’t hurt them at all but…well…I don’t call home as much as I should, either!

  5. Barbara Pask says:

    Wonderful painting Bill. You sure had some bad luck over the holidays, on to a new and better year, right?

  6. Rebecca says:

    eh, family is overrated…Reese Witherspoon said on a program about going home for Christmas, “you go home and you’re back to being the bratty sister again”
    I’m convinced family brings you down. They don’t know how to encourage you, because they don’t really know you (well, there’s an outside chance your husband and kid get you). I think they are stuck in the what we were at 20, and can’t see anything else, so they can’t really compliment you or validate your worth! (of course, my family is an exception…) Let your anonymous peers tell you that you rock, and maybe eventually the relatives will get it!

  7. Rebecca says:

    ps. did you have to put Brad Pitt as a resolution? Must have been REALLY disappointing!!! (please don’t ever resolve not to patronize Hugh Jackman and Jude Law; they’re just toooo cute!!)

  8. Lori says:

    Hey Bill, Oh is that you Lisa? Let us know if you get your family to read your blog, mine never do. They don’t read my blog any how, I get hubby to read you all’s now and then.

    Good idea about not cooking Christmas latkes, I think that is your best resolution. I have figured out its my family’s fault I am fat, they are fat so I am too. I caught it from them. So they need to get skinny first.

  9. My oldest daughter has a blog, which I read regularly. I asked her once what she thought of mine and she answered with disdain that it’s essentially advertising. Yeah…So? I thought a little shameless promotion was the point of most artists’ blogs. Except for this one, of course. You and Bill are on a mission to make us all laugh!

  10. Jala Pfaff says:

    I find #6 very hard to achieve.

  11. lbtowers says:

    Wow! It would seem #6 touched on a sensitive little issue!

    Yes, Diana, we decided early on that we were closet comedy writers if anything at all. The first few posts we did, bored us to death, and we made a pact to always include humor in some way, even if it was at the expensive of making us not look like serious artists. (BTW one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met, is a very successful portrait painter by the name of Bart Lindstrom.)

    Okay, Rebecca, to that short list I will have to add Leonardo Dicaprio, Mark Wahlberg, and Benicio Del Toro. You know who else is kind of hot in a really quirky way? Harvey Kietel in my favorite movie – The Piano. No REALLY. Go watch it again. Time for a cold shower.

    Okay girls, keep the list going.

  12. Rebecca says:

    Hell ya on all the last few hotties, even Harvey..omg, I totally know! (too bad the movie was so depressing)
    saw “P.s. I love you” last night…still thinking about mmm..wow..I liked the kiss in the kitchen. He has my style..the ‘don’t give up that easy’ kiss!! (sorry everyone for the porn comment)

  13. This is hilarious!!! I am still grinning!

  14. Rebecca says:

    Lisa, I made a new list for you!

  15. What’s with the # 6 and Dads? My Dad is the only family member that looks at my blog with the occasional visit by my niece. Good luck with that;-)
    Thanks for visiting my blog. I will place yours on my favorites and check in often…..so you can add me to your list.

  16. lbtowers says:

    Oh oh oh and Paul Newman when he was younger Rebecca.

  17. Rebecca says:

    mmmmmmmmmm…Paul!!! ooooooo..yea. baby! Boy, Joanne sure was lucky. :)

  18. Lisa B. says:

    My family doesn’t read my blog either. It’s probably just as well they don’t. I really don’t need any more toxic criticism from that bunch.

    Happy happy to you too, Lisa.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s