Everyone always asks about New Years’ resolutions. I usually don’t like to put pressure on myself to be any more perfect than I am. Kidding. But it is true that no one ever sticks to them, because old habits die hard. Just for kicks, I decided to go ahead and invent a few as if the world really were perfect and I aspire to head it.
1) I will paint MORE — blog, cook, eat, talk on the phone, watch TV, walk the dog, exercise, knit cashmere thongs, clean my studio, and teach LESS. You hear that all you readers, family members who are too fat anyway, Nielsen ratings people, Peach, stomach muscles, recipients of my cashmere thong gifts, visitors to my studio, and students????? Now, leave me alone. Awwww. This isn’t sounding like much fun already.
2) I will not patronize another Brad Pitt movie after seeing ‘Benjamin Button. Whew. Who was doing who to get that movie made? That is three hours – THREE HOURS of torture. Did I miss something? Have critics SEEN this movie? Wonder boy sure made a stinker there. And how about Mama Mia? Good name for that movie since those are the two words you utter throughout it as you peek at the screen through your fingers and visibly cringe. I haven’t seen Doubt yet, but let’s hope Meryl Streep is better in that movie, ’cause she sure can’t sing. Hey, can you blame that whole cast and crew for wanting to make a movie in the Mediterranean regardless of the fact that it was drivel?
3) This year I will worry less. (But who will do it for me????)
4) I will buy less clothes.
5) I will not cook potato latkes for Christmas dinner next year, unless I can call in a cleaning crew to hose down the kitchen afterward. You HEAR THAT FAMILY OF MINE??? I WILL NOT COOK POTATO LATKES, AND YOU HAVE A WHOLE YEAR TO GET USED TO THE IDEA THAT LISA IS NOT A SLAVE TO THE KITCHEN ON CHRISTMAS DAY ANYMORE. NOW WHO’S GONNA STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND DO IT FROM NOW ON PEOPLE????
6) I will get my family to read my blog.
And I think that is enough pressure to put on myself for the new year. Oops. Since I sat down to write this, I have broken about three resolutions already. Oh well. There’s always next year.