Beware of the Pretty Persimmon

by Lisa


(This painting needs work, and it is a mere snapshot of it hence the glare issue in the upper right.)   

      When I was a kid, growing up in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, one of the worst dares you could make to another kid was to take a bite out of an unripe persimmon. Ain’t a weed smokin’ rastafarian on earth that knows cotton mouth worse than that.  I highly recommend it if you are feeling bored, depressed, or unlucky. A bite of an early persimmon from the variety I grew up around will quickly make you forget your woes and in some cases can reverse them permanently.

       I recently bought this branch of persimmons at the farmer’s market. I hear that they are really sweet when they’re ripe. No-ho-ho. Don’t even THINK about getting me to taste one. Not now that I have a conditioned response of desalivation just looking at the damn things. My mouth was a veritable prune by the time I finished this painting thanks to that brat Jimmy Searcy when I was ten years old.

       He also peed in my cantine a few years later when I camped out with some friends and left the site to look for firewood. To this day I can’t drink out of anything that resembles a cantine. In fact, I can’t pee in one either. Funny how that works.

This entry was posted in Humor, Painting, Still Life. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Beware of the Pretty Persimmon

  1. I totally agree about the persimmons. By the way, we were practically neighbors…I grew up in Columbus, MS, about an hour from Tuscaloosa.

  2. lbtowers says:

    Connie, did you ever drink pee from your cantine?

  3. Lisa – I just love your site – you and Bill crack me up. Thanks for sharing –

  4. Lisa, I was tempted to buy some persimmons yesterday at the grocery. I’ve never eaten one and after reading this post I think I’ll just enjoy the visual beauty of them in this painting.

  5. Nope, I was a hot chocolate girl!

  6. Lisa, here in California, persimmons are a fruit-lovers dream. so sweet and juicy. when i saw your painting it made me think of all the fruit outside that’s ripe and waiting to be picked. yummy! Holly

  7. Rebecca says:

    Nice, Chica, even with the excuse of the glare…geez, use your imagination, will ya!!

  8. Lori says:

    I love the painting and I love persimmons too, they got to turn wrinkly like raisins to be good. I like them best in persimmon bread, you make like a banana bread recipe and replace the bananas with persimmons.

  9. lbtowers says:

    What do you think Connie? Should we try persimmon bread? Okay, but I reFUSE to drink out of a cantine.

  10. Persimmon bread sounds yummy, as long as it has my 2 favorite ingredients–sugar and fat. And I can see how you might be a bit carefull about cantines.

  11. Lori says:

    Connie, yes lots of sugar and fat! Do not use cantines in persimmon bread.

    Lisa did you get even with little Jimmy?

    For boredom in Florida we used to dare each other to put calamondin oranges in our mouths, bite down, chew hard and whoever kept the sour mess in their mouth the longest won. The winner got the wonderful prize of the rest of us pointing and laughing at him.

  12. Susan says:

    Wow, Lisa. The painting is great. This is not as easy as you make it look.
    You have such a eye for detail.

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