By WR Jones
This is a watercolor sketch I did of Karen, an aerobics instructor, some years back. I was planning on a large oil painting based on this but it never got off the ground. In fact, I don’t think it even got off the couch. So what’s new.
She has caused permanent damage to various parts of my body to the point I wonder why I keep taking her classes. Then I remember, oh ya, it is because she gives me a Tootsie Roll before each class; she is my favorite teacher.
Last Thursday I was in her spin class riding next to Barbara, a nurse – she told me – but I question this as when I told her I had some chest pain and asked for a little CPR she slapped me. Are nurses allowed to strike their patients? Still, it may simply be a technique I’m not aware of as it did get rid of the chest pain.
So, anyway, I’m riding along minding my own business as usual when I notice a scrap of tissue hanging over the top of Barbara’s sports halter (or whatever those tops are called). I casually leaned toward her and in my most discrete voice said, “Your breast enhancement product is leaking. Would you like me to tuck it back in for you?” Just trying to be helpful you understand.
Karen then says, “Is there something you wanted to share with the class, Bill?” “Ah, er, nope I don’t think so.”
I was alway taught those in the medical profession carefully guarded the privacy of their patients. So, once again, I question if Barbara is really a nurse as she – and this was NOT in her library voice – blurted out, “He wants to touch my breasts!”. Oh my Lord.
I quickly let the class know I was trying to discreetly help this woman out. I was totally unprepared for the almost unanimous unanimous hoots of derision from the class. Apparently they do not hold my view of my ability to be discreet.
Thus my week was a mixed bag; on the plus side, since being ejected for life from the gym, no more injuries; on the down side, no more Tootsie Rolls.
Anyway ladies, don’t come running to me when the stuffing comes out of your enhancement products, you are on your own.