Free At Last

by Lisa


       It wasn’t long after I started my testosterone injections, that I wanted to leave dirty dishes in the sink to get to my studio and paint. I wanted to strut into the Art Institute like John Travolta from an old movie.  I wanted to scratch my balls. In front of people. I wanted to say ‘balls’ and ‘tits’.  I felt free from wrinkles, bugs, and sweat. Free to create. Free to be great.

       I expect to be a rich and famous artist now. After my surgery that is. Yes, I think I will need one of those too. I wonder if my sisters/brothers, Frida and Georgia peed standing up.

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11 Responses to Free At Last

  1. Nava says:

    Sorry, Lisa. Nice mustache, but – you really do need to work on those eyebrows. They are way too feminine. Also, get some 5 o’clock shadow. Wishing you a speedy recovery from the surgery.

    I believe it also comes with a free license to fart and burp whenever you feel like it. Hmm – I may look into it…

  2. wrjones says:

    This is a becoming look for you. I’ll be looking forward to an improvement in your paintings. If you could measure the size of your nuts by artwork SALES, mine would be like two BB’s in a boxcar.

    Don’t ask your plastic surgeon for size 12 – they are annoying when they clang as you walk on a cold day.

  3. ivdanu says:

    I can see (moustache apart) why Bill married you, Lisa! Not only are you beautiful but you have a matching sens of humour!

    As for what bill said (big sales = big nuts, or equivalent) mine would be about the size of soya beans… or less. But doesn’t matter: we will be famous post-mortem. Look what happened to Van Gogh and to Klimt…

  4. wrjones says:

    Danu – we aren’t married or living in sin. When I asked Lisa to marry me she said she would rather have a sex change operation performed by an unqualified quack using dull kitchen utensils. Here you are seeing the results. I hope her painting gets better. And without that PMS she will be happy as a pig in shit like the rest of us men.

  5. lbtowers says:

    Bill, I knew I could leave it up to you to straighten Danu out with aplomb, dignity, and grace. Now, would you stop commenting on other people’s blogs disguised as me and writing at a second grade level of literacy with the suggestion to people that they threaten to send a cute little puppy into the wood chipper if they don’t buy a painting?

  6. Rebecca says:

    Speaking of farting, Lisas mention of having a sex change so she can say ‘tits’ and ‘balls’ made me realize just how happy womankind would be if only farting were also an equal opportunity event: Lettin’ her rip whenever and wherever you need to or just for fun! Just think, no more “My tummy hurts!” or “Oh, not tonite, I don’t feel well” or “Don’t touch me!” (Ok, that may not change) Once we’re free to fluffy as we please, the new sexual revolution can begin. I think I just broke a cardinal rule, mentioning farting and sex in the same paragraph. Would that turn you off if I challenged you to duel?

  7. lbtowers says:

    Okay Rebecca, that one had me in tears. This is getting good.

  8. Wonderful entry! You look marvelous, darlink. And the comments are equally hilarious. I’m so glad I found you…I laugh my head off at every post. I personally think scratching, spitting, and telling lies is the way to go.
    I want to thank you for adding my name to your list of blogs. And I didn’t even have to beg, grovel, or promise my first born. Really, that was very nice of you, and I shall add your name to mine as soon as I figure out how to accomplish this feat. Connie

  9. Way too funny….what a fantastic sense of humor you have. I am ROFLMAO!

  10. wow Lisa ….what can I say?

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