Prop 7 This You Mother Ziltch

By WR Jones

    Lordy, you must have heard those political ads on TV.  Vote NO, vote YES, vote MAYBE.  Unless you are so dense light bends around you, you have to notice the propositions are not even outlined.  Further they don’t really mention any actual pros or cons, and they never mention any direct benefit to you.

    All you hear is some whimpy emotional appeal like “this will help the little guy”,  “this will crush the little guy”, “the <teachers> <police> <firefighters> (pick one) need this or they will quit or maybe even die”.  Who gives a shit about those people, really?  How will this proposition benefit ME? Answer, no way.  It is always going to suck money from my pocket. 

   I don’t need teachers at all anymore so screw them.  And where are the police when you need them?  Yesterday I watched this teenage girl driving and talking on the phone – I find this so aggravating, I want the police to arrest her for breaking the law.  Of course, it is not as aggravating as when the police are ALWAYS there when I break the law.

   I’m just afraid if Obama gets elected he will take away my guns so I can’t arrest that girl myself, or at least fire a warning shot across her hood.

   If I were king I would have the propositions fully explained on a PBS channel then have the opposing sides present their case.  As it stands we get only “prop”aganda from the side with the most money.  This seems to work for those rich power interests solely due to the staggering number of stupid people in the world.  You people don’t know who you are, do you?

   For awhile, on my walk yesterday, I was thinking we should just kill those people who spew bullshit with no content.  Then I had an epiphany realizing I might be the head of such group.  Hold ‘er there Newt, let’s not be hasty.

   Enough politics, Erin M.

   I call this painting “The Green Bottle”.   Pretty spiffy name, ya think?  I’ve always had a way with words.  It is amazing how I can, through the written language, connect an image to the cosmos.  Well, alright, numnuts, you come up with a better name – and it can’t be white table or pink flowers as I’ve already considered those.

   If I don’t get an offer on this painting by 5:00PM Pacific time I’m going to drop this puppy into the woodchipper.  Not my woodchipper, of course, the neighbor’s.  My yard is a big enough mess already what with the rusted mattress spring, old fridge (the kids love to play in this), and tractor tires.  I get a letter practically every day from the association complaining – meddling old biddies.

 

    So PETA, let your conscience be your guide.

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This entry was posted in Humor, Painting, Rants, Still Life. Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Prop 7 This You Mother Ziltch

  1. Geesh…if your going to have tires in your backyard..I hope they are producing mosquitoes to aggravate those meddling old biddies….better yet just burn ’em! Painting in the wood chipper? Burn the painting with the tires….nice mix of toxicity! LOL! I just love your humor with all the echoes of truth!

  2. bonnieluria says:

    Not fair.
    Either be a terrific painter or a scathing satirist.
    But to be BOTH, is taking something away from the rest of us who are trying to at least be only ONE of those things.

    Now if I could stop laughing, maybe I would pick up a brush…..

  3. grfxho says:

    I think you should shake up common naming conventions and call the painting “Oranges.”

  4. Lisa B. says:

    I lead such a sheltered life… I thought all those propositions were fully explained in 9th grade health class. ‘Round these parts it’s called solicitation, and it’ll get you a night in jail plus a fine.

    How about Free Flowers? (They were, weren’t they?)

  5. wrjones says:

    Theresa – I was just by your place yesterday. Saw something I liked and wanted to comment but you don’t have that option. Could you send me some self addressed envelopes and stationary in case I want to tell you something? No, I can’t promise it would be worth hearing to the tune of 42cents.

    Bonnie – I would love to hear you laugh. I bet it is a delightful sound.

    Shay – Oranges is going the right direction but because it connotates something round people might just think I’m color blind.

    Lisa – I had to laugh at the “Free Flowers” – I’m thinking “Do I know this woman? Did she see me pick these babies? What other of my escapades does she know of?”

  6. Melinda says:

    How ’bout–“Green Episteme #7: A Semiotic Look at the Tenor of My Alienation”?

    Or, “I’m pissed. There are stems. And, Prop 7 is about green energy.”

  7. wrjones says:

    Jesus, Melinda, I hope you go blind. You have been reading way too much. I just spent an hour looking all those words up. The only word I knew was “pissed”. Still, it does have a certain granduer so if I can remember it that will be the title.

  8. gypsy-heart says:

    I really like “The Green Bottle”..soft with an oriental feel to it! :)

  9. wrjones says:

    Gypsy-heart you are the sweetest lady.

  10. Erin M says:

    I just knew that you would have an opinion! I like your idea of a PBS program stating “just the facts, ma’am”.

    I know that I am among the dwindling numbers that actually READ the propositions in full, not just the little paragraph on the ballot. I read both pro & con arguements and the “unbiased” opinion (written by someone up in Sacramento who gets paid a ungodly amount of money to decipher the rhetoric with which these things are written…how do I get that job?).

    Unfortunately none of these synopsis reveal the true $$$ that this will cost ME. ‘Cuz I’m with you…this is all about ME. How will this affect ME? What good/harm is it going to do ME?

    I homeschool, so I don’t care if a school gets built. (I have a whole lot of ideas about the failing of the schools & none of them have to do with a lack of funding! But that is for another time.)

    If a gay person gets married it doesn’t nullify my marriage. Why is this even an issue? (UH-OH, forgive me if I offend with this opinion. But it’s mine.)

    SCE is sponsoring the energy prop attacks…do I REALLY think that they are worried about the little guy? If my rates go up, this affects ME. I will have to read this one closely…

    Anyway…enough of my ranting. I think that the painting should be called “Twisted” because of the stems in the vase & because it fits you.(wink wink)

  11. wrjones says:

    Erin – that much of a rant requires you to post a drawing with it. I will pick it up when I return – it can be a class project if you like.

    Say, maybe you could teach me to spell.

  12. lori says:

    I love the painting, its so soft. I am terrible at naming paintings, I let the buyers name them if they will.
    The Green Bottle sounds cool, a bit mysterious. What was in it before it held flowers? “Green Reflections?” “Reflecting on Green?”

  13. Erikie says:

    How about “Offspring of Yellow and Blue Bottles” :) Is da cute dawgy still alive? o_O

  14. Eldon says:

    Hi you guys. I’ve nominated your blog for the Brilliante Weblog Award. Reason? I always have fun on your site and I love the figure drawing when it comes around. Keep doin it the way yer doin it!!
    Eldon

  15. wrjones says:

    Thanks Lori. I stayed at a hotel where the owner was a painter with his works on the walls. He told me one day a woman said she wanted to buy a particular piece, how much was it and what was the title?
    He didn’t mention a price and not believing in naming paintings, made one up on the spot. The woman then said she would never buy a painting with a name like that
    and walked off.

    Erikie – I should send you the book “Blue and Yellow Don’t Make Green”. Your painting title choice is certainly more clever than anything I could manage. I’m trying to think what I could give you as a prize. Unfortunately it can’t be the puppy. He is sawdust now along with that annoying little kitty. I’ve got to come up with a different sales approach I guess. I’ve gone through all my kid’s
    pets and the neighborhood strays now. Still, I’m ever the optimist. One must not get down on one’s self for being a total loser.

    Thanks, Eldon. We very much appreciate it.

  16. Erikie says:

    Hardly a loser dear I bet our friend Van Gogh might have a few stories to tell you. Aww poor pooch!

  17. Nava says:

    While I stand at total awe at the subtle profoundness and existential insight of your original title, may I suggest “Broken Stem”? It could be a metaphor for the girl who aggravated you so by speaking on her phone while driving.

    Hmm… it’s past 5pm, though. So – how’s that puppy doin’ in the woodchipper? Hope it didn’t mess up the neighbor’s garage too much.

    Oh, and I cannot vote, so I don’t really follow all those propositions.

  18. Title?, you ask. How about “California Initiatives…They Stink!!”?

  19. 100swallows says:

    A nice painting, Bill. Did you have trouble deciding where to sign it? I would have.

  20. ivdanu says:

    Yeah, nice harmony green-pink (it scares me shless to try!) and nice doggy too… and do not mention the woodchipper any more or else I picture you as the father in Malcolm in the Middle (and Malcolm brothers) trowing EVERYTHING in the woodchpper!

  21. wrjones says:

    David – The connection is a little tenous but what the hell – Ok let’s go with that. It can’t make sales go further below absolute 0.

    Not everything Danu, just the puppy, and, kitty, and that stupid necklace of my wife’s.

  22. OK W.R. howbout a less tenuous “Whatmeworrynots…a fragrant balm for hard times”. OK, OK, it’s just as tenuous, but at least I tried.

  23. Rebecca says:

    OMG, Lisa, you are so fu*#ing hilarious!! Balls!! Thanks for your comment on my blog entry “Go commercial or keep it to yourself!”

    I’m putting you on my favorites.

    Thanks again for writing,
    Rebecca

  24. wrjones says:

    Well, Rebecca – Lisa didn’t write that comment, althogh, looking at the spelling, I wish she had.

    David – That is an excellent effort.

  25. Rebecca says:

    Oh, Thanks Bill…I guess it was you, since I think I’ve seen you on brushspace.

    Just got home from David Byrne! What fun! A night of nostalgia, that was.

  26. wrjones says:

    Rebecca, could you please fix that spelling?

  27. carolking says:

    hysterically funny post, Bill. And I love the painting. Beautiful green bottle! And the flowers have a slightly Asian feel.

  28. Lori says:

    Hey Bill,

    What do you have to do to buy a painting here? I don’t see any prices, does a person have to ask how much? That always gives me the galloping willies. Every time I ask somebody how much its always way too much and I have to plead poverty. If you have to ask its going to be too much.

  29. wrjones says:

    Carol – You have a much better smile than that big dog. It looks like you have a fabulous Christmas present for me and can’t wait to see my face when I open it. Oh, oh, I’ve worked myself into a Christmas frenzy.

    Hi Lori – most of the paintings are for sale. WordPress frowns on commercial enterprize on their site so we don’t use any of those “SEND ME MONEY” buttons. If you are interested in any of my paintings you can contact me at wrjones47@gmail.com.
    I will give you, as my first buyer EVER, a special deal.

    If you are interested in Lisa’s work – don’t ever talk to me again. I think her stuff is free. I saw a couple of her pieces at Good Will the other day.

  30. Bill, this beautiful still life is a perfect antidote to all those political ads! i especially like how you captured the light through the vase. Holly

  31. wrjones says:

    Thanks, Holly, you get my vote/s.

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