This is the type of dust bunny I’m forever finding under my bed. I guess I don’t need to explain to you all about all the hours of lost sleep “cleaning up” has cost me.
I use a 22Mag caliber Swiffer Duster to shoot with. It looks just like a regular duster… perhaps because it is. Still, it makes a big BANG and has a powerful kick (in the back of my mind).
This particular breed of dust bunny is very elusive. You must have a very large set of beer goggles on to spot them under your bed. It also helps your recognition skills if you are a regular reader of Playboy. Sometimes as I’m getting a good pair (12 pack in pool hall parlance) of goggles on, I nod off right there on the floor. I often wake up covered with bruises. I suspect Mango is kicking the bejesus out of me for not giving him a bite of my chicken at dinner. I have these little paw shaped bruises up and down my back. I think my wife may get in on it as well. I have large welts like I’ve been whacked on the head with my Swiffer “rifle”.
The googles are so expensive I once resorted to shoplifting to get a pair. I put on a wig, dress, and some high heels and walked into the local Piggly Wiggly. I put the 12 pack of Coors under the dress and started walking toward the counter. I was expecting everyone to think I was “with child”.
Here is the problem with living in a small community – EVERYBODY knows you. The woman behind the counter says, “Hey, Bill, nice outfit. You look a little wobbly on those heels, and that baby you are carrying seems to be very sharp edged. When are you due? And, more importantly, did you want to pay for that with credit or cash?”