The Problem With Iguanas

by Lisa       

       On her last day to model for the class (see my last post), Ludmilla’s finale consisted of bringing her pet iguana to pose with her. The young men in the class were, for the first time all term, delirious with excitement. The teacher even took pity on them and told them they could chose just to draw the nasty creature instead of Ludmilla’s glory. 

       Needless to say the bloody creature (yes, my contempt for lizards extends to iguanas and all other forms of dinosaurs and things that go bump in the night) did not stand still, even though Ludmilla would attempt to make him happy by posing him on her head. Finally the damn thing just began to crawl around on the stage. I had taken to painting the above pastel study of Ludmilla reclining, and kept my head as buried as I could trying to avoid eye contact with the beast (the iguana).   Suddenly, there was a stir in the room which sounded like a mix of stiffled laughing and groaning. I looked up and there it was. The iguana had found just the right part of Ludmilla’s anatomy to lick. (It was her breast you filthy minded readers.)

       As I said in my last post, Ludmilla is a woman completely devoid of  inhibition. Nevermind that the iguana incident scarred me for life as a result. Consumate pro that she is, she simply pushed the cursed monster away from her, and struck her pose again.

       For a finale, Ludmilla donned colorful butterfly wings strapped to her naked form. It was a thing of beauty. If you could only bottle that lack of modesty…

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7 Responses to The Problem With Iguanas

  1. Nava says:

    Iguana, ha? and butterfly wings? you people really do get all the excitement…

    Great rendering of Ludmilla – after reading this post, I keep seeing the iguana under her arm. I think I am vicariously scarred as well.

  2. IS that an iguana under her arm???
    Eeeewwwuuuu…..
    Hey Lisa!! I LOVE it that as wonderful a teacher and painter that you are that you STILL are a student!!
    I’m taking off for the summer and finding I like painting on my own for a while. But I’ll be back… maybe Buddy will let me drop in for a class or two (if I pay, of course.)
    Be well..

  3. Well this made me laugh, even though I don’t believe a word of it. We had a pet iguana (which I bought for my boys when it was very small). It grew to enormous proportions, as did it’s poopies. My sons disowned the creature so I was left to care for it and clean up after it. Lizzie grew to about 5 feet long (including her tail) before she went the way of all flesh.

  4. My life drawing sessions are NEVER this entertaining, Lisa! Oh, for a Ludmilla once in a while to break the boredom :) I’ll do without the iguana, though, thank you very much.

  5. lbtowers says:

    Diane, you can believe every word of what I say. Now Bill on the other hand…

  6. Just discovered this blog… hysterical! Thanks for a good laugh!
    Kathleen
    http://kathleenharrington.blogspot.com/

  7. tom says:

    You need to see this. Iguanacookbook.com

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