By W R Jones


    I guess this model’s idea of “costume” is bright colors.  I didn’t need her to look into a crystal ball to tell me more shit was heading my way.

    I injured my shoulder at the gym a few weeks back and was rubbing it when a woman painting next to me asked how I hurt myself.  Old combat injury I says.  She looked at me for a moment and spoke, “I’m sorry, were you fighting in Vietnam?”  “Nah, Gettysburg”, I replied.  Her eyebrows shot up like they were wired to the space shuttle during lift off. 

    What the hell; Gettysburg?  Where on earth did that come from?  This was not an ordinary ripple in my brain wave, it was a tidal wave.

    Always looking for ways to improve my whiffledust, I examined my slip up and determined it came from the fact I’m reading a book, “Confederates in the Attic”.  I momentarily had hopes this could still work out.  Most people are so uneducated and stupid; she might think I was in a shoot out at a hamburger joint.  I could be a member of a swat team.

    What are the chances of the person standing next to you being a history professor AND a member of Daughters of the Confederacy?  “Oh, really?”, she says.  I can’t get the inflection of her reply here, but let me just say it didn’t give much hope for the swat team concept.

    Still, looking on the upside of this encounter, she did give me a nice compliment.  She said I looked to be in damn good shape for a 160 year old man.

    What is this world coming to when a man can’t even tell an honest lie?

This entry was posted in Humor, On Suffering, Painting. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Gypsy

  1. Nava says:

    I hear you. what are all dem educated peoples doing around us, eh?

    I love the way she thinks – I was about to comment you look good for you age, but then I reached the end of the post. I had to open Wikipedia, mind you, for the date (but then again, I am not an American).

    So, about that swat team…

  2. Nava says:

    Oh, and – great rendering of the absentminded (or is it meditative?) gypsy.

    At least the models in your class make some effort to look a bit out of the ordinary. Ours seem to think that “clothed figure” merely means jeans and a shirt.

  3. Susan Carlin says:

    I love how you painted her eyes, Bill. That arched eyebrow speaks volumes, no?

  4. wrjones says:

    Nava – I think this particular gypsy was bored. She was most likely sitting there plotting her next “we were just in the neighborhood, and can offer you a great deal on coating your driveway with dirty motor oil” scheme.

  5. Well painted for a 160 year old man, I’d say.

    Have you seen Mark Story’s book, “Living in Three Centuries”? Here’s the link to a fascinating collection of faces.

  6. wrjones says:

    Wow, Diana, that was interesting, and I’m feeling a lot younger now. Thanks.

  7. Wiffledust? After you improve it, can I buy a kilo? Does it come with directions?

  8. wrjones says:

    David, as a teacher, I expect you are already blowing whiffledust daily; ask your students. You could probably apply for your MWB (Master Wiffledust Blower) bowling jacket patch right now. It goes on the right sleeve of that satin jacket under the “Lenny’s Lounge” badge.

  9. Susan Carlin says:

    Bill, I’ve been curious/concerned about the condition of your face since the application of wart remover…… are you ok now???? Update, please!

  10. Anna Surface says:

    LOL “Her eyebrows shot up like they were wired to the space shuttle during lift off.” That made me laugh! Perhaps you were from Gettysburg. I mean, the Gypsy? Crystal ball? :) I really like this painting in its reds and green. Her expression, ‘Nothing surprises me,’ is wonderful in the ‘capture’.

  11. wrjones says:

    Susan – I think it worked. People have been telling me I look like a newborn baby’s butt. Ok, I added the “newborn baby” part. The black spots are gone temporarily at least.

    Thanks Anna.

  12. gypsy-heart says:

    Very nice wrj! It has a feel of mystery to it too..the woman and your age! :)

    If you really injured it, I hope your shoulder is better.

  13. wrjones says:

    Thanks, Gypsy-heart. There is no mystery about my age; I’m old.

    I did injure my shoulder and it still has not healed. I’m looking for a palette caddy to help me through this difficult period.

  14. Dianne Mize says:

    Look who’s talking about grabbing a brush. Get busy yourself! By the way, you missed my new post by about a minute.

  15. wrjones says:

    Dianne – I had a painting totally ready. I just did not want to usurp my blog partner’s opportunity to get on the air.

  16. Dianne Mize says:

    Does waiting in line build character?

  17. wrjones says:

    Well, Dianne, I didn’t publicly berate her for her ponderous sloth; that right there shows great character.

  18. So, Bill, since you were at Gettysburg, did you ever meet up with “my” Confederate soldier? :D

  19. wrjones says:

    Janet – I hate to admit my age, especially since I used the wart remover for a DIY face lift, but yes, I was there. I think I shot at him a few times but all I managed to hit was an apple tree, a corn stalk, and my foot (don’t ask, long story).

  20. inklets says:

    heheh! Gettysburg, huh!
    well, the painting’s come out really well – infact the sharp color clothes of this model seems to be the beauty of this painting..

  21. wrjones says:

    Inklets – it did give me a chance to use red without being an old lady flower painter (heaven forbid). That is an unusual name you are going by. Will you share its meaning with us? It is not like you would be telling the whole world; we have 3 readers – Lisa, myself, and… say Lisa, do you think that other guy died?

  22. You get more comments than anybody. I’m trying to sell my new thought piece, and somebody just told me that my tags are useless! I need you to buzz it up for me, Bill.

    Lovely Gipsy, by the way. And enchanting story. (And how on earth will I ever get as many comments as you!)

    Boo wooooooooooooo!

    (If I sell my thought piece, I’ll give you a generous commission!)

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