Three Wishes

by Lisa

       This is a pot that was given to me. It was dug up out of the ground and donated to the Morikami Museum in Boca Raton where my sister-in-law works. It was very corroded, and and damaged, and the Morikami rejected the donation. My mother-in-law, clever woman that she is, snagged it at one of their rummage sales and did an amazing job cleaning it up. She then sent it to me knowing that I would dearly love it as an object d’arte so to speak.

       When it arrived in the mail, I could not believe my good fortune. I immediately set out to compose a still life with it. To get a really nice highlight, I took out a cloth and began polishing it. That’s when a genie popped out and gave me three wishes. My first wish was to maximize the highlight. The genie told me to paint the highlight in white and glaze it with yellow once it dried.

        Unsure if this was a good genie or a bad genie, I tried a test, painting another little brass pot twice. On one pot I painted the highlight white, and then glazed it as he had told me to do. On the other, I mixed yellow with white and painted it directly. Sure enough, as he had said, the glazed highlight was brighter, and I commenced to painting the pot above using the technique that the clever genie had suggested.

       For my next wish I told the genie I wanted to know the difference between men and women. He told me to take a poll of the two brass pots I had painted asking both men and women which pot had the brighter highlight.  Invariably women would correctly point out the brightest highlight, but the men would answer the question with a question as if challenged to a dual. They knew the answer but were not going to depart with it without a fight.

       For my last wish, I told the genie I wanted to insure my success as a painter. He turned me into a hot man.

This entry was posted in Humor, Painting, Still Life. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Three Wishes

  1. bonnieluria says:

    So now that I’ve stopped laughing, I’ll remind you of the classic Zen question:
    “If a man is alone in the woods, is he still wrong?”,

    Very funny post- and a seriously good painting!

  2. wrjones says:

    It is a damn shame you threw that pot away after the painting, Lisa. I saw one just like it on Antiques Roadshow. It was valued at $750,000. They said there was only one other in the world; since it was magic it would probably go for a bit more.

    Look forward to seeing your flat hairy chest, bulging biceps, unionalls and work boots, Mr. Lisa.

  3. grfxho says:

    Great… now this blog will become a pissing contest instead of the high-brow banter we’ve all come to know and love…

    Man, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.

  4. wrjones says:

    I just this morning trimmed my high
    brows using a straight razor. They are a little lower now and somewhat scraggly, but I think still high enough to carry on my normal mega whiffledust blow spree on all matters pertaining to art and sex change genie grants.

  5. 100swallows says:

    An impressive painting, Lisa. I miss the genie, though. That was also very interesting about the two brights. I guess painters after Monet or somebody gave up worrying about that difference, huh?

  6. grfxho says:

    The “high-brow” part comes from Lisa, Bill. Be careful with sharp objects.

  7. Too funny!
    Probably too true, also!
    Great painting! Lucky for you that your SIL knows what you like …. and cares enough to follow through.
    Be well

  8. Gosh… so how long will you be testosterone crazed? I hope it’s a temporary condition; it could be extremely distracting for getting any painting done.

  9. Pingback: Cezanne vs Unger « On Painting

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