I was recently visiting a friend of mine who is new to the wonderful world of dating. She told me a story about a man who recently decided to try his hand at courting her. He apparently enjoys collecting art and invited her over to see his er–pad. As she went from room to room noticing the artwork on the walls, she finally arrived at the den. There, over the couch, was a gigantic painting with nothing on it but the word BITCH. In case you missed it, I have recreated the large word for your perusal above. Perhaps it smacked you in the face when you opened our site just now. Perhaps it gives you some idea of the lasting impression it left on her tender eyes so new to the wonderful world of dating hanging over this bachelor’s couch where he probably expected her to sit and chat with cozy tidings.
Upon first seeing this word, one must first question whether it is intended as a verb or a noun. Considering, in this case, it is a behemoth piece of artwork in a bachelor’s pad and that that bachelor apparently went through an ugly divorce, I feel confident that we can rule out verb as he most likely would not subject himself to flashbacks of an action that surely occurred with painful regularity. This leaves noun. Of the two possibilities, once again I have confidence– we can rule out mother dog.
Now I ask you, what would a man be thinking who would purchase such a piece of (we’ll call it – for the sake of argument) art? We can surmise that he thoroughly enjoys sitting beneath his grand tribute to his sentiments every night as he watches Girls Gone Wild. But did he give a moment’s thought to a woman walking into his lair and witnessing his passion to express himself so vividly? Obviously not, for the second thought would have been about how quickly she would exit. Which she did. And much to his chagrin I might add. I imagine him commissioning an even larger version of this piece right about now.
This all leads us to the philosophical question – what constitutes art? To bitch, or not to bitch? Or is that to BE bitch or not to BE bitch?