By W.R. Jones
If you watch any TV at all, and let’s face it, you do, then you have seen the blitz of ads for bacteria killing sprays, soaps, rags, etc. They often show children playing then returning home all dirty and scratched up. Mommy then saves their lifes again. EVERY day these kids are going to die if they are not hosed down with disinfectant. I have this image of a diligent mother shoving a toilet bowl cleaning brush down her kid’s throat to get at those nasty germs in his stomach.
The straw that broke my germ laden back was the ad for a Swiffer duster. It showed a woman dusting/mopping a kitchen floor. The claim is that it killed 99.9 percent of germs. That is the number they all use. Well, first of all, did that big clumsy cow break every dish in the house? Are they eating off the floor?
If you go over the floor a second time does it kill 99.9 percent of the surviviors of the first attack? I’ve had math, I know how this works. You get 99.9 percent of the remainder, then 99.9 percent of those survivors, then 99.9 percent ….. but, you can do this forever, the math people will use infinity, and never kill them all.
So, now my question is – how long will it take that 1 remaining flesh eating bacteria to eat you? Is it possible you could direct his eating patterns to work on those age spots first? Could he be trained to trim the fat around your middle, like mowing the lawn one tiny, very thin row at a time?
Here is a piece of info for all you big OCD dummies scrubbing yourself and the rest of the family raw – the number of bacteria cells in your body is about 10 times the number of human cells – SCRUB HARDER!
Word for the day – IRONY, this may be my last post as I have a raging sore throat. Maybe I should have bought that Swiffer, it was only 19.95 plus shipping.