By W.R. Jones
I’m baaa….ck. What’s that you say, “who gives a shit?” Oh, my, you have made my heart ache with nostalgia. Those are the exact words mom use to say when I would announce my return from school.
Anna Surface of Surface&Surface, a Kansas photographer, graciously agreed to let me use her photo of a stone wall as a basis for this painting.
I was going to include a drawing of a Borax Twenty Mule Team soap box for Lisa to stand on while she berates me for using someone else’s photo. Then I got to thinking about that logic. It seems to me, if we keep a consistent view of this idea, that a photographer should not be allowed to photograph someone else’s stuff.
That is not original. She is plagiarizing/stealing. She should have built her own stone wall to photograph. Well, maybe she did, this could be her garden wall for all I know. Natural things like the sky or a tree would be alright, unless of course someone planted that tree. Then you would have to get their permission. You should plant your own trees to shoot.
You can’t take photos of bridges or buildings unless you built them. I guess it’s ok if you ask your friends to help as long as you include them in the credits.
I added the canon because the wall and field reminded me of the civil war battle grounds. As I was painting the manly looking canon my testosterone count reached dangerous levels. I was going to the gym later and was afraid I would be busted for doping. And if they didn’t test me that day there was still the danger I would bulk up too fast and split my new shirt (remember I’m using those heavy black weights now, not those pastel colored lighter ones I like so much).
To counter the testosterone build up I used my medical knowledge of hormones and painted in some flowers. This began an estrogen uptick. Apparently I painted too many flowers and overdid the estrogen bit. I found myself walking around the house in high heels admiring my calfs in the mirrors. They were looking pretty good if I do say so myself. They were a tad on the fuzzy side. I think I need to lean into the razor a little more.