Engineer

By W. R. Jones

 

    Ok, this is an image that has no relationship to the anecdote of this post.  If you feel you need an illustration to match the story, do it yourself.  Email it to me at wjones@sjm.com and I will include it here.  You might want to seriously consider this opportunity as you know, as well as I, with near certainty, this entire blog will someday be hanging in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, with notorized copies in the Louvre and Hermitage.  This is your chance for a slice of immorality immortality.

    Recently, while using some creative reconcilliation techniques, which included new ways of addition and subtraction, to get the checkbook to edge near the black, I recalled a morning by a pool with a group of housewifes.

    They were bitching about their husbands.  The whole morning I never heard one of them say a positive word in regards to their men.  One by one they rattled off the traits they found irritating.  “My husband makes me balance our checkbook to the penny.”  I replied, “Well, you should balance to the penny, otherwise you are doing something wrong and this may mean you are way off.”   Another, “My husband expects me to check the oil every time I get gas.”  Me, “This makes sense, running out of oil can damage the car.”  “My, idiot husband wants me to press his damn shirts.”  Me, “That sounds normal, do you want him to go to work wrinkled?” 

    On and on it went; everytime one would say something negative I would point out the benefits of that particular trait.  Finally, one woman jumped up and screamed at me, “GOD DAMN IT, I BET YOU ARE A GOD DAMNED ENGINEER TOO!”

    Touché.   So this is the reason I can’t get a date.  Virtually every woman hates my personality traits.   Since that day I’ve been making the transition from engineer to painter.  I’m not there yet but I’m making progress.  My checkbook doesn’t balance and my oil light just came on.

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This entry was posted in Humor, Landscape, Painting, Plein Air. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Engineer

  1. Miki says:

    No, not every woman, Bill!
    And I hope you will stay an engineer in your brain, I find them much more interesting than painters!
    I totally agree with each word you said to the house wifes. I can’t stand it when women together are moaning about their men… if they only knew how unsexy it is!

  2. These are obviously women with nothing but time on their hands, Bill. But, back to the painting … you are there! Especially your landscapes, I love them.

  3. OK…this comment is serious. I like the delicacy of the trees, the hues in the dense tree foliage, and the few spots of sunlight hitting one or two of the limbs. What does not match in paint quality, in my humble opinion, are the two foreground trees, the grass, and those bluish thing-a-magiggys (so shoot me!!…I can’t spell this word, and I doubt that spell checker is going to come to my assistance). Again, the delicacy of the trees are very well done. I find painting and drawing trees a real paint in the pencil, pen, and brush.

  4. silvina says:

    Your oil light is on and your check book is out of whack… alright! You’re an artist!

    I think this landscape is a beauty.

  5. wrjones says:

    Miki – that Kevin is so lucky to have you.

    Thanks Janet.

    David – the foreground was a problem. I tried a couple of times then ran out of time. In the scene the small tree in the foreground was beautifully lit, I just didn’t get it right.

    Thank you, Silvina.

  6. grfxho says:

    I like the depth of the shadows as the woods get denser. It’s a nice painting, Bill.

    …I suppose you’ve never been around a group of men bitching about their wives…?

  7. wrjones says:

    Thanks grfxho – Actually, to my recollection, I have never been around a group of men bitching about their wifes. Trixie, Bubbles, and the other girls, don’t like us talking about our spouses.

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