Save Our Idiots

By W.R. Jones

    I’m seeing a new ad on TV promoting pads that you place on the bottom of the foot while you sleep.  This pad, devised by, who else, but those wise and medically advanced (even from ancient times) Asians.  The function is to remove toxins from the body.  The ad shows people waking to remove this pad which turns dark from the toxins that it leached from your body in the night.

    They talk about the various toxins we are exposed to and mention heavy metals.  I guess these heavy metals must settle to the bottom which makes them come out at the feet.  I think I will make some pads of my own.  I’m going to tell people to sleep face down with the head lower than the feet.  You will place my pads on your nose.

    I wonder if the lighter toxins float to the top.  We need a pad to place on top of the head.  First you will have to shave a medium sized area to place the pad on.  But, if you give it any thought at all, you will realize how important it is to remove these toxins; so for a woman to have a bald spot like the rest of us will be a small price to pay. 

    I think I will sell “toxin spot” hair pieces to cover these bald patches.

    There maybe some neutral buoyancy toxins as well.  I don’t know what the devil to do about these.  Maybe we could have a pad belt.

    I’m divided in my thinking about the fools of the world, and they number in the billions, so it takes a lot of thinking.  Sometimes I think they deserve to be shucked.  Other times I feel an obligation to keep them from being screwed yet again.

   There are so many people in trouble now because of loans they did not understand.  Part of me feels, hey buddy, you signed the contract; the other part feels they were victims.  I think we need to do a better job of educating about practical finances.  There should be a mandatory class on managing your money, who to seek advice from when you are confused, and who to avoid when you are confused.  There should be a class on recognizing the warning signs of a bogus product such as these foot pads.

   On another note:

    Lisa’s Peach is a beauty to be sure, and you have to admire her enthusiasm for life’s daily interests.  However, if you are looking for lazy, disobedient, and untrainable, Mango is the dog for you.  He is like a cat that can’t jump.  Thus you don’t have worry about him leaping onto anything taller than a piece of cheese.

   On our walk last night I noticed how he will advance with a mock attack on those dogs he knows are penned in; when a free roaming big dog appears he is up my leg and into my arms in a flash.  His body language says, “you know, Bill, just for training purposes, I’m going to let you handle this one.”

 

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5 Responses to Save Our Idiots

  1. ratedxtin says:

    i have tried a similar one, albeit a foot bath detox. colors that appear in the water are supposed to show problem areas/illnesses. mango is so cute!

  2. wrjones says:

    Hope you are all purified now.

    Mango gets his looks from his owner. Well, ok, he does have a little more hair, and his teeth aren’t quite so worn down, and his tail is fluffier.

  3. gypsy-heart says:

    I feel your pain..so just go ahead and vent.

    The foot rendering is good..but where is the pad?

    As for Mango..he is adorable! He’s “got it” and he knows it too! :)

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. Carol King says:

    Less TV Bill, More painting!

  5. wrjones says:

    Gypsy – you can’t keep those pads. They are filled with toxins. You have to immediately throw them into the neighbor’s back yard.

    Carol – I have been checking on your blog and this is a BIG case of the pot calling the kettle. Get back to your sisters and make a mess.

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