By WR Jones
This is what you will have left to eat if you let those incessant ads leak through to that part of your brain wanting to piss away your money.
That area of my brain dominates. I recently ordered an RC helicoptor that you
can er, should be able, to fly in the house. I was hoping it would arrive on a day when I was home alone. Nah, everybody was there. That is everybody that I had badgered about spending money frivolously. To put it bluntly, they did not let the matter slide.
Hoping to stop the onslaught of verbal abuse I let my daughter fly my new toy. Here is a math symbol for you < the symbol for “less than”. It was < 15 seconds before she broke it. Now I was on the horns of a dilema as they say. On the one hand I was, temporarily at least, out from under the cloud of being a vacant minded spendthrift. On the other hand I was wanting to scream at her for breaking my stuff before I got to touch it. But if I did so the spendthrift issue would balloon to the forefront. This was going to be a losing deal for me. I searched frantically in that area of my mind not used for spending money and came up with the idea to forgive her on the spot: “Oh, baby, that’s alright. Daddy is just glad you had your 15 seconds of fun.”
The money spending brain area was not done with me on this project. I went on the net and found spare parts to replace those broken by my daughter. The fragile, utterly cheap, plastic pieces cost as much as the whole helicoptor with the remote controls. This seemed like a good deal so I bought them; sure hope nobody is home when they come. I need help.
I have been hearing this ad for a mattress. It states that they will beat any advertised price or your mattress is FREE. I mean really, can’t you just hear the conversation at that store. “Burt, this customer has found a mattress for $995, but our price is $1000. I don’t think we can sell our mattress for less than $995, we can’t possibly afford it. Shoot, I guess we will have to give it to him for free.” They must think we are stupid.
So, anyway, I’m sleeping pretty well on my new mattress.
Can you people out there read? Maybe we should be posting via YouTube videos.