By W.R. Jones
I was part of a small select Navy group; no, not the time I was in the brig, although that was also a small select group. This elite group had duty in some far off exotic lands. One of them being Adak, Alaska. Now I understand the military has left and it is open to the public. Back then it was military only and there were no females.
The unfortunate souls who pulled a year or two stint on Adak came back with an affliction that infected nearly 100%. I don’t know the scientific term (after all sailors are not much for the more formal vocabulary), but the common term was a case of big eye.
When I asked one of the ill returning sailors to describe the disease he told me it was where you had not seen a woman for so long you got such a large erection it stretched the skin on your entire body to the point where you could not blink. Thus they went upto two years without sleep.
At the time I was horrified and actually cut off one of my legs to avoid being sent to Adak when my orders came. Lately in my advancing years I’ve been rethinking the prospect. After all, there may be some cosmetic benefits to this affliction. If I can get my skin to stretch that much it might get rid of the crepe paper look of this old skin. Remove some wrinkles and I could use the woody as a handle to help myself get out of the rocker.