American Painter Idol

by Lisa 

    I have a new idea that could make me and Bill as rich as Simon Cowell. “American Painter Idol”. We are going to discover the next rising star in the painting world. We could start auditioning painters by asking them to demonstrate their best painting styles.  I’m sure Fox will pick it up, and we could ask the viewers to vote. Each week we could have a different theme/genre as we narrow the contestants down. One week they could come out on stage and paint their best rendition of classical art. Another week it could be their best pop art, and another it could be their best rendition of Thomas Kinkade art complete with their choice of bible verse.  Everyone should put their own spin on the themes.

    Bill and I vow to be good and acerbic when it comes to the critiques of the performances. If Bill wears his three piece suit, he could sound really convincing delivering lines like “That was perfectly horrid without one redeeming stroke in the whole bloody mess”.  I could wear my baseball cap and say things like “Dawg you rock man”.  Of course we’ll need an MC.  How about it Grfxho? Kev? Carol King? Gypsy-heart?  100swallows?  We’ll cut you in.  Think about it, but do NOT steal this idea.  I have it patented already.  Or is it copyrighted?  As for all you potential contestants, start your brushes!!!

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This entry was posted in Critiques, Humor, Painting. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to American Painter Idol

  1. kevmoore says:

    I like it. Bill is probably the only person in the known universe who could make Cowell look sympathetic. Please do not judge all brits by Cowell’s standards – ie. self-aggrandising publicity merchants with more money than sense who wear their trousers round their necks and helped put a puerile obscenity like “mr. Blobby” at the top of the British charts, thereby losing for all-time ANY opportunity to say he helps the music business. Am I ranting? I’ll take an aspirin…

  2. wrjones says:

    And elevate your feet. And what is wrong with wearing trousers around one’s neck? It is better than the man who fills the vending machines in the cafeteria. He is fat and wears his pants BELOW the BOTTOM of the butt. All of his underwear shows. I can’t figure out how he walks because he looks like he has been hobbled.

    I like the general idea of API but don’t think I’m a good enough actor to play the bad guy. It goes totally against the grain of my sweet, supportive, never sarcastic, loveable personality. On the other hand, it is not a stretch for Lisa to take that role. Really, for her, it wouldn’t even be a nod of the head.

  3. Carol King says:

    I LOVE this idea. And thanks for thinking of me as an MC. But I would prefer to be a contestant. I’ll make it through a few rounds but during the Thomas Kincaid, Painter of Light week, they will discover something about me from my past like I’m a worshiper of Satan and have 666 carved into my head. I will be unceremoniously dumped and your show will suffer a HUGE scandal, but in fact will reap even higher ratings and it will be a fantastic hit. Good luck with this. Let me know when you’re in NYC so I can audition.

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