Lisa’s List of Pet Peeves

by Lisa 

Today I sat my students down and went over “Lisa’s List of Pet Peeves”. I have been teaching long enough to where I feel I have earned the right to wave my big stick. I have two big classes on Wednesdays, and it is imperative that they all behave, and not annoy me badly, or I won’t help them. Just kidding. No I’m not.

I will now print the list along with little notes in  purple that I would like to add but my boss won’t let me:

1) Leave your caps off your tubes of paint. This encourages you to use paint more freely (and discourages me from slapping your hands).

2) Do not leave your brush cleaner jars open in class. This is unhealthy and unnecessary (and likely to make your jar mine once I have confiscated it behind your back).

3) Do not attempt to clean your brushes in your palette cups since you are not allowed to have your brush cleaner jars. (I will bust you every time since muddy medium is a dead giveaway that you have cheated shamelessly.)

4) No whining allowed.  It brings everybody down with you. (Who do you think you are, freaking Rembrandt that you should be painting like already?)

5) Clean up your mess. (I am not your mother although I act like her with all the bitching I do.)

6) I don’t mind cell phones ringing in class, but PLEASE walk out of the room and out of the building entirely to have a conversation. (We can still hear you in the hallway, and we do not care about your mother’s colonoscopy.)

7) Always have good brushes (or you might as well go snap a twig off the tree and freaking paint with that).

8) Always squeeze paint out onto the EDGE of your palette NOT in the center leaving the center for mixing. (Edge means SIDE!!&#$*.)

9) I hate paper palettes (and people who sing badly with ipods).

10) Do not drag easels or benches across the floor. (It has the ‘ol twig in a hurricane effect on me.)

11) Please wear paint clothes to class. (This is not a Project Runway audition.)

12) Do not be late to class. It is hard to organize a large class without knowing how many students will be there from the outset. (This makes me decidedly cranky, and you should always remember to bring a gift of coffee cake or chocolates or something.)

It always helps to go over this list at the very beginning…for about one class…and then I’m back to shrieking PLEASE DON’T DRAG THAT EASEL!!!

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14 Responses to Lisa’s List of Pet Peeves

  1. katrinasmall says:

    You’re a riot; I’d love to take your class and be around our energy, but I’m in N.CA and I’m thinking you are in S.CA, …right?

  2. katrinasmall says:

    In the previous post, I meant YOUR energy…however OUR energy could be interesting, too.

    So, do you have students posting?

  3. polkadotwitch says:

    this is a great list. maybe i’ll make a list of “house rules” or something similar. that would be fun …

  4. wrjones says:

    Here we go again, Debbie Downer. I would like to hear a happy note for a change. How about “It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood. Would you be my neighbor?”

    Or, the sky is blue, sun is shining, I’m so happy I could ..

  5. yvonneayoub says:

    Hi Bill, Hi Lisa! Just got through reading your wonderful blog and what a delight it is! I just love your humour-you’ve really brightened up my day (well you would have done if it WAS day,it’s actually 3.42am here in London!I tend to work through the night mostly – I like the peace and quiet, with just the odd fox breaking the silence,which is pretty amazing considering I’m quite literally bang in the centre of this city!)My outbursts of laughter must have disturbed the whole street!Thank you! & for all your support & kind comments too. Truly, Much appreciated…

  6. lbtowers says:

    …and I got a giggle out of reading your comment. Thank you as well. Now go to BED girlfriend.

  7. lbtowers says:

    Katrina, I would have corrected your “our”! And yes, we are in Southern Cal. SUNNY Southern Cal. Eat your heart out Wisconsin and China!!!

  8. Susan says:

    Regardless of the rules, I am going to continue to whine. It is an interesting process, teaching that is. I am on both sides of the equation…I had a student yesterday who became so very sad and walked out of my class. His major complaint was that I was not clear about my project parameters and after much
    reassurance, and explanation, he calmed down and went back in to work.
    He was not really confused about the project. It was that illusive thing called creativty and vision. How do you teach someone to be creative and have their own vision?

    I feel the same way sometimes too. We come to an art school to sign up for a class and Buddy says try oil painting! It is fun. You say “no way”, that is too hard, I do not even understand how to draw properly. I do not understand core shadows, cast shadows, reflected light, perspective, the color wheel, color combinations, good canvas quality, glazing, how to draw folds, how to see color,( how to paint with a painter’s eye). How to set up a still-life, what medium is, how to deal with foreshortening, and perspective. How to paint and learn something in a short period of time in class when it takes a long time just to see the core and cast shadow, etc., etc.
    In short, (or long) if you do know what a good painting is, and you have high standards, it is very frustrating, because of the fact that for me there is a whole bunch of information missing that should be required before taking painting classes. But Lisa, you do a great job with all of us, with our limited knowledge that is continuing to grow. Please let us whine, within limits. If I take anxiety medication before class, it dulls my senses and I need all the sense I have to keep up.

  9. Susan says:

    P.S. Where is spell check on this blog?

  10. wrjones says:

    Lordy, Susan, back off the dose of meds before you write. We don’t spell check on this blog. We write like we talk, garbled. So you are doing fine.

    Keep going to class, as Frank Sardisco used to say, “it is good for an artist to suffer.”

    If Lisa couldn’t whine she wouldn’t be able to carry on a conversation.

  11. wrjones says:

    You know what? I’ve been giving this some thought, Susan. For a small fee (as if I didn’t owe you anything), I will correct that spelling and save you the embarrassment of having all 7 of our readers note your misspelling.

  12. Susan says:

    Dear Bill and Lisa:

    Thank you for the suggestion. However I am sure that you have
    at least 9 very literate readers, so I will take you up on the spelling
    assistance. Bill you make me laugh!

  13. wrjones says:

    Dear Susan,

    In response to the (image of) $100 I recieved via email, which I used to buy Lisa a big box of Valentines chocolate, but I have decided not to give to her because I worry about her blood sugar, I have corrected all your typos.

    Now every last word is spelled gud.

    Regards,
    WR Jones

    Senior Editor/Altruist

  14. Pingback: My Budding Landscape Painters « On Painting

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