By W.R. Jones
This is as far as I got before my subject wandered off looking for more food. I was so jack-jawed by the loss of my model I had to console myself with another round of chocolate ooze cake with a dollop of vanilla icecream – ok, 12 dollops.
I’ve been seeing commercials on TV lately advertising Lasik eye surgery. The ad boasts of the great deal of getting two eyes done for the price of one, AND, there are no add-ons or upgrades. What the hell? What could be an add-on? “If you would like, sir, for a small additional fee, we could pluck some of that unibrow of yours and fill in a bit of that bald area.” “Lady, for only a little more we could swing this laser around and pierce your nose.” “Today’s upgrade includes the ability to see a single object instead of the usual two or three. This will greatly inhance your chances at three card monte.”
I really can’t handle any more ads. Judging by the number and insidious invasion of ads for obesity and limp dicks this country will soon be called FFA instead of USA. Fat Flacid America.
Please note the quality of paper I’m forced to draw on and send me some money.
On Painting 
It didn’t escape my attention whilst meandering stateside, that the amount of ads for medical stuff was incredible. We just don’t seem to have that in the UK, where common sense tells you that you don’t need an ad to tell you you’re ill, you just know, and then it is further assumed that you are free-thinking enough to go and do something about it. The only upside I can see to this televisual reverse-quality control is the abundance of TV evangelists, praising the lawd, mopping their sweaty brows and asking for your dollars. now THATS entertainment.
P.S. Did your model really have “midships” tattooed on their nose?
I love TV evangelists. “Send your money directly to God through me, the reverend Shifty Greenbacks.”
Those shows cut the bible down to a single phrase: “Reap what you sow.” Start sowing to us and we will reap you simultaneously.
I saw a small bit on the news last night about a congressional investigation into a “Charity” organization soliciting donatations for our wounded servicemen. Only 25% of the money reached the servicemen/women. The rest of course went to the executives (1.5 million in a year or two + housing and perks). When ask if he disclosed this information to the people he asked to donate he answered of course not, then they wouldn’t give.
The midships was on a piece of the ship’s newletter I was drawing on. I thought it made a nice marker for where her nose would have gone if that cow had sit still long enough.
Sorry, Bill… if you wish to steal big-time, call yourself a “bishop”, dress in fourth-century clothing, give yourself an unpronounceable Greek or Russian name, and claim that you must “stay in touch with your brother hierarchs in Europe”. Oh… anyone you do not like, you declare UNCANONICAL.
No, sir… when it comes to clerical escapades, I am afraid that we Orthodox are the champs (we also have some of the holiest clerics around (at the same time… in the same church… go figure!)). We were promised that the “wheat and tares” would grow together… but, couldn’t we have more wheat and less tares?
Good observation.
being serious (for a change),
Vara
I do want to steal big time.
Thanks for the tip,
Bishop Bill
I don’t have my robes on just now as they are having paint removed.
It’s a mystery isn’t it? how much they move, given that they don’t appear to take any exercise whatsoever…. (your large sketch subjects, not the TV evangelists)
This observation is made in our house every Sunday. We cannot watch a football game with our son without having to explain what erectile disfunction is.
It’s gotten to where Jer will flip channels to HGTV at the commercial break rather than endure a rousing chorus of “This is Our Country” and E.D. medication commercials.
And if I have to listen to “Viva Viagra” one more time (Elvis, please forgive us… we know not what we do), I will scream.
What a waste. It happens to me commonly to look my thoughts. But a rewarding break will compensate it. :)
Are you seriously telling me that they advertise viagra to the tune of viva las vegas?? god help us all.
Yes, they really do advertise Viagra to the tune of Viva Las Vegas. If Elvis was dead he’d be turning over in his grave!