Today I Wear Red

By W.R. Jones

milkweed.jpg 

    No, I’m not wearing red, I’ve got on some beige corduroy pants, a black shirt, and black and beige sweater.  

    Today I Wear Red is a Milkweed post.  When she is wearing red, don’t bug her, and take out the garbage like she told you.  I used Google Earth to find her and using a little known feature of that software was able to zoom in and look out her back window.  Damn it looks cold there.  She is thinking, “Nuts, I’ve got to shovel the driveway again.” 

    Speaking of wearing things, this morning my wife asked me if this sweater is new.  It is at least 5 years old.  No big deal but the tone of her voice has unnerved me.  I have been planning on unveiling a new shirt, sweater, and sport coat I ordered from Orvis when I felt Santa had gone cheap and shorted me again this year.   Now I’m afraid to bring them to the light.  On the way to work I racked my brain for someway of explaining them.  I can’t go with the “I picked them all up for $5 at the Goodwill store” as she will notice the Orvis labels.  If I could find a woman who sews maybe she could swap the labels to “Cheap Charley’s Bargin Basement” for me.  Barring that I guess I will use the standard wait a few months then wear them.  At that point I will be able to pass the lie detector test with, “these old rags, I’ve had them a long time.  I’m surprised you never noticed.”

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6 Responses to Today I Wear Red

  1. grfxho says:

    I think I used to live on that same street. It’s about 500 miles to the north…

    Nice title, Bill.

  2. 01varvara says:

    “Today I Wear Red”… hmm… is that a masculine reference to a particular… periodic… facet of feminine life? Do you think he is going to tell the truth on this one, Lisa? ;-)

    As for the clothes, BIll… you can claim you got them from Dede! You can cite my posts on my blog as your authority. It IS worth a try.

    Vara

  3. alexander says:

    Lovely painting.
    The facial expression really was portrayed.

  4. Carol King says:

    you’re afraid to tell your wife you bought new clothes! LOL! I can see who wears the pants in your family.

    Oh, and I loved the painting of the priots!

  5. Anna Surface says:

    I’ve enjoyed reading and viewing here.

    In the painting, her expression is wonderfuly captured. As if there is something she is working through within her mind… far away from where she is at.

    ~Anna

  6. wrjones says:

    Well, Freud, er Vara, it might be a subconscious metaphor. At my age, however, the women I hang with only get cranky if the arthritis flairs up or the pension check is late.

    Thanks Alexander, it is nice to get a straight forward complement instead of the usual flack.

    Carol, I do wear pants, and I do have balls, two of them. One rattles around like a BB in a boxcar and the other is a little bitty feller.

    Thanks Anna, she might just be thinking of the pain of sitting so long. It took me a couple of weeks to do the piece and I forgot to tell her to take a break. I bet she has to pee real bad.

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