By W.R. Jones
Looking at this image triggers appreciation of that wise old saying, “A bird and a hand are better than a bush.” I can’t quite figure this saying out, can you? This particular piece might have been better developed if Mango had not decided it was too cold outside and he would be more comfortable relieving himself on my lap. Or maybe he was just marking; his way of saying, “hold this spot ’til I get back from my kibble.”
Don’t continue with this paragraph (but, by God, don’t skip the next) if you are easily creeped out. A few weeks ago I, my wife, and my daughter were having Thai food at a local restaurant where, at the end of the meal, we were given fortune cookies. I thought this was a Chinese thing but I guess passing out cheap cookies stuffed with dorky sayings and lotto numbers has spread. We each picked up a cookie. I was about to open mine when a searing premonition, starting from my left instep, ripped through my body. I grabbed my daughter’s hand and screamed NO! That cookie is not meant for you, this cookie is yours, and we exchanged those little cellophane wrapped rocks. She open hers and read, “El hombre puede — sorry, that was the Spanish side — Man can cure disease but not fate.” Mine read, “You are shit out of luck, as usual. Love, Confucius.” Not so chilling you think – my daughter is in medical school, and me, well you know about my luck.
I’m leaving tomorrow for a cruise through the Panama Canal. I’m telling you this for two reasons; 1. I want you to eat your heart out with mind destroying envy. I don’t know why this adds to the pleasure of my vacation, it just does. 2. I don’t want to come home and find my door blocked with Christmas gifts stacked so high it takes me three days to sift through them. It could be rainy and cold. I recommend assigning dates to ship my stuff so that it arrives in a staggered fashion.