By W.R. Jones
Santa, I have selected this to be my Chrismas tree this year. Don’t swing by the house, OK?
Yes I know it is not a traditional looking tree but think of this, the reindeer can rest and stoke up on some of this fine grass. You can warm your fat butt for awhile and I will leave a thermos of coffee along with a ham and cheese sandwich in the crook of the tree.
I’ve decided to include a photo of what I expect demand to find under this tree on Christmas morn.
I thought perhaps with a photo those miscreant elves of yours might not screw it up like they did last year, and the year before that, and the year before that….
All my love,
Billy
PS – I have been a very good boy all year.
On Painting 
Bill, I cant help noticing that you’ve lowered your expectations in the Harley department….
Thanks, eagle eye. I was hoping that would go by unnoticed. Now I’ve got to lower my head, lip quivering and get the butterfly tattoo instead of the death head.
Or, I could ride my scooter up to the local biker bar, go in, drink a glass of milk, and kick ass.
Na, I think I’ll get the butterfly and ride my scooter to the library. I’m wondering what color helmet I should wear with my new leather tights.
Mmmm….Salmon pink? perhaps you could get matching Louis Vuitton panniers.
Yes yes yes. The girls down at the salon are going to shit and fall back in it.
Bill, I have some of the most disturbing images in my head right now…..I think we’d better revise the decision and go back to manly black.
That black does look good. I’m going to get me a black wallet with a silver chain to hold all my money while I ride.
I will look like a combo biker/trucker.
Bill, thought I’d better give you the heads up on this; there appears to be some French bird waiting for you over at cafe crem