I have come to the conclusion that the teeth cleaning business is a racket. It is simply not necessary to go every six months as the dentists and hygenists will have you believe. I want you all to know that I am an avid flosser. I take good care of my teeth, and at the slightest provocation from something painful in my mouth, I am in that dentist chair immediately. But, I do not believe in running to them for a cleaning that often.
Recently, I decided I had held out and made them suffer long enough, and I called and made an appointment for my cleaning. The receptionist looked up my records and informed me that indeed it had been just over two whole years since I had last been in. (I hear your collective”EWWWWWE”) She said it with disdain and an almost audible tsk, tsk. Frankly, even I was surprised. Time flies when you’re not being tortured.
My cleaning with the Nazi hygenist was yesterday. I can practically hear my dentist say to her, after looking at my chart, “See to it that she comes back in six months”. I have never had a more thorough–“cleaning”. She scraped and dug and poked and stabbed for an eternity. Occasionally, when she would spray water in my mouth, I thought about how good she’d be at waterboarding. Everytime I would object loudly to her stabbing my gums, the hygenist devil would remind me that I had not been in in quite a while, and my gums were really sensitive. Don’t forget, I am a champion flosser and my damn gums are NOT sensitive.
Bet you’re wondering what this has to do with painting. It made me cranky enough today that I didn’t want to do it. That’s what. I can’t eat because my gums feel like they were used as pin freaking cushions.
Next time I’d rather have a root canal, or maybe I’ll just keep my May 8th appointment.