By W.R. Jones
My wife saw this drawing on my desk and mentioned she liked it. I sort of forgot about it until I hurt my knee at the gym last night. The most casual observer can tell this nudist teacher has a knee problem as well. See how she favors that leg.
Every time I switch from those pastel colored weights to those big heavy damn black things I hurt myself. If I could find a good “gym injury” chaser attorney, I’d own that place. I’d get rid of all those heavy, injury producing, agony enhancing, ugly steel torture tools and put in some lounge chairs and reading material.
As I recently expained to a dear friend (hoping she would get the hint and send me some medicinal help), I’ve used up all the Vicodin I talked my wife out of taking when she had her shoulder surgery; told her she would heal faster if she layed off that official painkiller and chewed on some peanut brittle instead. It actually seemed to work, her screams quieted right down after the first few days home from the hospital.
So, dear reader/s, how about it, could you see your way clear to sending me a little something to ease this suffering? Come on, give it some thought, your husband will survive without those last few pills, give him some peanut brittle. Anyway, you told him not to use the chain saw, serves him right to lose those toes.
Oh, and for those of you who may be adverse to handling illicit mood enhancers, I’ve found that Tootsie Roll rappers rubbed against my knee while eating the contents helps alleviate the pain. So get your caring self on down to Von’s and pick me up some Tootsie Rolls, and some Good n Plenty.