Style

By WR Jones

I saw a young black man at a grocery store today with his pants barely hanging on below the hips and 50% of his underwear showing.  He made a small tug on his trousers to hike them up a bit.  It did help keep him from tripping over his pant legs I suppose but that was about all.  The fact that he was black doesn’t really enter into my observation except as a paragraph filler.  This makes it seem I work harder at this writing business.

I looked at him wondering how he chose this particular dress style.  He must have seen someone else with his ass hanging out and said to himself, “Wow, that looks cool.  I want that look.”  This is probably how most of us pick our dress style.  I went to a western hat store last week to have my Stetson “Open Road” hat shaped to fit my head better.  I bought the hat because I saw an old gentleman with the same hat and thought he looked elegant.  I told the woman in the store the reason I had purchased this particular hat and could not understand how I looked like such a buffoon with it on my head.   After all, I and the old gentleman were about the same age.  How could he look elegant and I look like a common shithead?  After reshaping the hat the woman said it looked better.  I asked her if I looked elegant now.  Damn I hate blunt women.  As a business woman you would think she could finesse a little lie.

Another issue:

This painting started out as a still life of a slice of apple pie.   I can’t seem to gain control of my compositions; they run amok.   At one point I had a dump truck and a miniature giraffe in the foreground when my wife suggested flowers.  I followed her suggestion as gospel (a little play on words and illustration) as I was hungry and wanted some dinner.  Are there any drugs that will:

1.  make me feel very good

2.  make it so I don’t have to pee quite so often

3.  clamp down on this ADD that jerks me from one subject to another before I get my paints laid out.

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This entry was posted in Critiques, Humor, Landscape, Painting, Rants. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Style

  1. 100swallows says:

    You’re at your best again, Bill, with both the painting and the writing.

  2. Barbara Pask says:

    Such a lovely painting Bill and such a funny story. Read it to my hubby too and we both had a great laugh.

  3. wrjones says:

    100swallows – thanks, I value your acceptance.

    Barbara – thank you. Glad that hubby got to enjoy as well. I’ve changed the piece a bit on advice of my wife and daughter. They chimed in their 2 cents worth after I was finished. Then the client viewed piece and told me not to paint any more they wanted it as is. However, I started looking at it and couldn’t refrain from some touch up. Hoping client won’t notice.

  4. Carol King says:

    Ah, glad to see a new painting Bill. I like this bucolic scene, makes me want to relax.

    there are lots of meds that can make you feel good. Not sure about peeing. Forget about ADD meds. We like you with ADD.

    Have seen plenty of kids around town with their pants falling down past their butt crack. Do not get it. I don’t know when or how they decided they wanted to look like that, but they need a good kick in their (uncovered) butt!

  5. lesliepaints says:

    I like your landscapes. Forget the apple pie still lifes.
    About ten years ago at a store where I worked the detective on loss prevention chased someone out the door who had just stolen something. His pants fell down and tripped him up. He was caught. :)

  6. connie says:

    Loved your description of the evolution of the painting. You are so funny–I always laugh out loud, very unlady like, when I read your posts.
    I have heard that the low pants is an attempt to emulate prison inmates. When their belts are taken away to advoid a possible suicide by hanging, their pants hang down. Too bad that our heros are now inmates.

  7. Eda Vezelaj says:

    I can always count on you for a good laguhter, Bill…lol, you never let me down :). Too bad though, life has got on the way I can see and haven’t posted much. As for the “pants issue”..lol, I can tell you I have a hard time refraining myself sometimes from going and pulling them up mhyself, for them…you know, as a mom would do with a toddler..lol. Dangerous, I know!
    Hope to read more from you. You owe it to your loyal followers..lol.
    Cheers,
    Eda

  8. rahina qh says:

    Bill, isn’t it time to put something on this blog? it is cluttering up the internet otherwise ;)

  9. Barbara Pask says:

    Missing you around here Bill, I hope things are good with you.

  10. Brent kirk says:

    Bill. I’m amazed at the way you weave and twist a tale. I just came across onpaintin and am enjoying it immensely.
    I’ll return regularly hoping for more humour and wisdom.
    Brent

  11. ivdanu says:

    Grass will do all that you ask for (and more: you’ll be hungrier than ever). but I suppose you already know all that…Woodstock and s…

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