LiterallyOctober 15, 2009
By wr jones
I often think I need to tell people “this is what I heard, literally.” I hear such outlandish stuff on the radio and TV I feel if I tell it like I heard it, I will be suspected of making it up. I heard one the other day; “The Cookie Diet”. They were serious. Cookies for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. According to the ad there is a wide variety of cookies so you won’t get tired of them. Does anyone really want a cookie everyday for breakfast and lunch? I’m curious about the odds that anyone trying this idea is overweight and does not have a living chance of trimming down.
If I was overweight and eating these things and someone asked me if I was dieting …. Nope, just eating cookies cause I like em; so kiss my fat patootie, Twiggy.
Say, did you ever paint in watercolor? The damn stuff is very runny. I’m not patient enough to wait for one layer to dry. Even knowing in advance I’m going to dick the painting up by putting more water/paint into what is there without waiting for it to dry, I do it anyway then startup with a potty mouth that would singe the devil’s own tongue. I only did this piece in watercolor because the thought of getting oil paint all over my car and then cleaning up was too overwhelming.
Just off to the right of this painting is a fence with a No Trespassing sign. I don’t think they meant that sign for me. There are some wonderful paintings waiting on the other side of that fence, but not in watercolor.