An Apple A DayOctober 7, 2009
By WR Jones
I couldn’t spell “feeble” in a chat the other day. Maybe that is why they call me feeble minded. I didn’t have time to look it up and didn’t want the person on the other end of the chat to know I was an idiot. Don’t know why I stress over it; by the end of the conversation she probably had it figured out anyway.
In the chat I substituted the word apple in place of feeble. Why? Because I knew how to spell apple (although I don’t know for how much longer I will be able to spell that word either). Of course that particular substitution then threw the sentence into disarray so that it made no sense at all. Screw it, I didn’t feel like talking anyways.
I started this painting in Susan’s back yard then finished it in my bathtub weeks later. I was in the bathtub trying to clean up after getting dirty crawling under that fence to avoid looking at the No Trespassing sign. That way I could plead ignorance. It often works as the deputies almost immediately agree with me on that point.
You may note some interesting brush work on this piece caused by my nervous twitching at every little sound. Ever since the neighbor’s dog was killed by a mountain lion my ears are tuned so finely I can hear a cricket pass wind from the bad grass he was eating. I’m getting a little better as my hearing aid batteries run down.
If you eat only apples you should stay pretty thin I’m guessing. My daughter was telling me about a case of flesh eating bacteria in a 10 year old boy. Sounds bad – is bad. However, being the optimist you know me to be, I was thinking maybe we could harness this little fellow (the bacteria) and train him to eat fat only. Ya, you are on the wavelength baby, make billions with a B. And with that money be able to eat fine fat food all day long. Then kiss one of the laboratory beauties (for a fee) and get exposed to the fat eating bacteria.