Cowboy Boots n Clouds

By WR Jones

clouds

Real cowboys sleep on the open range under the stars.   If they had a little too much cactus juice the night before, they may sleep through the morning under these clouds.

When I was a young boy, cowboys were the heros.   One Christmas I received a very handsome white faux leather rhinestone studded holster with 6 shooter cap pistol.  Included in the set were some awesome rhinestone studded spurs that jingled.  You know, real cowboy gear.

My father was dead set against children wearing cowboy boots thinking they were bad for young growing feet.   This was Iowa in the 50’s.   My mother had a pair of fur topped black rubber boots to go over high heels.  This pair of rubber boots was for walking in the rain/snow.

They looked semi-cowboyish to me.   So I put on a pair of my mother’s high heels and the rubber boots over them.   Strapped on the six shooter and attached the spurs to the boots.   Looked pretty good I think.   At least it looked more authentic than wearing a pair of spurs on some lace up brown oxfords worn only on Sunday.

I started through the house looking  for bad and/or evil cowboys to slay.  As I recall they didn’t ever kill people in  those days; they shot the gun  out of the bad person’s hand.   And the bad person held his hand like it hurt.

Unaccustomed to high heels as I was (at the time), my ankles wobbled like the front wheels of that soap box derby car I made just before they came off entirely and rolled independantly down the road.  That project made me realize I liked reading about making things a whole lot better than actually making them.

So anyhoo, I wobbled through the house firing my cap pistol at everything until those spurs latched  together and I went down like the proverbial rock causing me to bite my lip and start crying, you know, like a real cowboy

This was an epiphany – I decided against being a cowboy.   I would be a librarian; in high heels.

This entry was posted in Humor, Painting. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Cowboy Boots n Clouds

  1. Barbara Pask says:

    I love this story and the image of it. My husband was like you , always playing cowboy. He would take a belt and strap a pillow to a chair and ride that chair like a horse, lol. You two would have got along great.

  2. Erin M says:

    My Hubby said…”OH! It’s funny…cuz Bill’s a tranny!” LMAO!

    Now how am I supposed to go to sleep with these visions you’ve put in my head? What are the dream analysts going to say? I fear there is a week at the asylum with my name on it…all while I say, “No, really, there’s this guy, in high heels & faux fur boots…”

    I like the painting tho…very peaceful. :-)

  3. InkSplodge! says:

    Great clouds! Great heels!

  4. kevmoore says:

    Somewhere out there…a photo exists of a 9 year-old me dressed as a cowboy in that well-known ass-kickin’ frontier town of Bournemouth. “Where?” I hear you say, in between spitting your tobacco juice into the passing tumbleweed. I believe it’s a suburb of deadwood….

    Anyway those days of dressing up instilled a love of cowboy boots in me that was only resolved through therapy. What used to really T me off was the women’s cowboy boots had so much more style, with the angled heel, the guys version was just so…CLUMPY. I got the strnagest looks asking for the girls version in a size 11 (that’s UK for big)
    Now I know why they made Brokeback mountain…..

  5. Gwen says:

    Really beautiful wispy clouds. Just right for a day on the Range.

    I nearly spit out my coffee laughing when I got to the part about the heels. That would have been enough in itself, but to envision the rubber boots over them with spurs…that’s hilarious! I can see from this little story that you’ve always been “special”. ;)

  6. lesliepaints says:

    Funniest ever. I was a Lone Ranger fan…..The clouds are very believable. I like them.

  7. Rhonda says:

    Oh give me a home
    where the transvestites roam
    and the skies are this cloudy all day…

    Bill, you are definitely “something else,” and you just keep proving it – and that’s why we love ya!

  8. wrjones says:

    Barbara – how long have you two been married, since grade school? Or is he still playing cowboy as a semi-adult like me?

    Erin – tell your husband to come see my new bikini at the pool. And have him bring some bon-bons he has made so I can compare to those great pieces you created.

    Inksplodge – thanks. I’m thinking about a Nordstrom’s trip today to see what they have in the way of western looking high heels.

    Kevin – I just don’t think they had authentic outfits for that Brokeback Mountain movie. I didn’t see any rhinestones on their belts at all, and I didn’t notice any wobble in their ankles.

    Gwen – thanks. The cowboy laying on his back looking at these clouds can’t appreciate them. He has a throbbing headache from that stuff he drank to remove the trail dust.

    Leslie – thanks. I remember the Lone Ranger on our 10″ black and white with some snow TV.

    Rhonda – thanks. Say, that is a very nice poem.

  9. And here I was wondering why at my blog, you prompted me to get a horse and go painting!!!LOL
    Well, Buffalo Bill, I too had dreams (while in the bowels of NYC as a child) of big open sky, being Annie Oakley, had the holster and gun, dress and boots, too.What fun to pretend. But I gotta say, the picture you created of the little boy in incognito high heels had me doubled over. I agree with Rhonda, you are too, too funny.
    Love these clouds.

  10. You did it again, Bill….
    …. LOL….. :)

    You GO, Hopalong!!!

  11. wrjones says:

    Cathyann – ya, I kinda wanted to be like Annie Oakley too. But when I tried to shoot the head off a running quail I got the neighbor’s tractor tire instead. Do you know how hard it is to change one of those behemoths?

    Marian – YA HOO. That’s what we say down to the corral after a half carafe of merlot.

  12. Carol King says:

    Hey Bill,
    You know you can still get an outfit like that on Christopher Street in NYC, only in a big boy size!

    Great clouds. Great story.

  13. “Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys,” is what I always say! Willy Nelson even wrote a song about my famous saying ….
    Terrific clouds!

  14. I like the cloud painting a lot, Bill.

    And I also like thinking about your innocence as a child. Mama’s boots work just fine for the pure at heart. That’s the beauty of make-believe.

  15. Jala Pfaff says:

    Nice clouds. In which your head is.

  16. ivdanu says:

    Super clouds, bill! I could look at them (and their kind) forever…

    And cowboy movies, westerns, are even now, for me, a passion…and a pleasure…From classics with John Wayne, to Hombre with Paul Newman and, of course, Clint Eastwood, Kevin Kostner and Tom Selleck…

    No matter what you say (with lots of witt!) about their boots…

    By the way, when I read you I always think of SAKI… and you can hear a lot of his marvelous pieces if you go to Librevox site…it’s for free (important point if you are a poor artist like me) but of acceptable quality and lots of British funny accent!

  17. Pegi Sue says:

    OMG!! The picture I have of you doing some plein air out on the range is HILARIOUS!!! Can you really walk in those things through that tall grass and Buffalo chips?LMAO

    I do love the clouds…looks like a photo!!:)

  18. wrjones says:

    Carol – I’m booking a flight right now. I want those purple chaps with the pale yellow gun belt.

    Diana – thanks. Did you wonder where that innocence went?

    Jala – thanks. That is a whole lot better a place for my head to be than where momma said it was.

    Danu – Thanks. Those guys were ok but not really much with rhinestones.

    Pegi Sue – In a word NO, I can’t walk with those things. I did fall fairly well.

  19. Well, clearly, Bill, the end result must have been the reason Dad didn’t want you to wear the boots!

    I can completely relate to how reading about doing can be much better than actually doing. That’s why I aspire to be frickin stinky rich…I’ll just read about it, and someone else will do it for me.

    Love the clouds!

  20. As a kid I remember the neighbors dog chewing up my red cowboy hat. The father bought me a new one – he was pretty cool.

  21. wrjones says:

    Rebecca – a very healthy attitude about that rich business.

    Preston – A red cowboy hat? Man I’m filled with envy. I always wanted a red leather saddle.

  22. When I was in kindergarten, I sang “I’ve Got Spurs” in the talent show. We changed the girl-names to boy-names, though.

    I snorted with laughter more than once while reading this. Thank you.

    Oh, and I hear you ate my bon-bon. Jerk.

  23. Pam says:

    out here in the west we still have cowboys, although many of them are in pickups or on their atvs. not as many ride the range on horseback anymore, so spurs aren’t as necessary.

  24. Bonnie Luria says:

    Now I bet you can respect the embroidered throw pillow I saw in a shop window:
    ” Ginger Did What Fred Did, Only Backwards and in High Heels “.

    Love the clouds, love the story, love the image of you in make shift boots.

  25. wrjones says:

    Shayna – make that bon-bons as in plural. She gave me a bucket full. I think her husband left her because she gave away the family treasure.

    Pam – that is wonderful news. I can get out of these uncomfortable high heels.

    Bonnie – I hadn’t thought of that but you are right about dancing in high heels. I danced a few times with a woman who had been a dance instructor. She never led but followed whatever clumsy step I did so gracefully I felt like I was a smooth dancer.

  26. Lori says:

    Lovely clouds Bill.

    I got to know though, if Daddy thought cowboy boots were bad for young feet what did he think of high heels and fur topped black rubber boots?

    I used to have a red cowboy hat. I feel like I have gone back in time, I am sitting here eating Neccos.

  27. wrjones says:

    Lori – even at that young innocent age I had a gut feeling that I should not be seen in public. Super cowboy hero that I was. You had a red cowboy hat as well. Damn I had a underprivileged youth. I love Neccos; Haven’t had any in a long long time.

  28. Hi Bill,
    You are wasting your time painting churches and buildings, clouds and still life. You need to paint these wacky images of children in dress-up. It would be just hilarious and wonderful too.
    I’m waiting to see it posted, kiddo.
    K

  29. wrjones says:

    K – I need a model. Now that you mention it, it would make an interesting painting. Has a very Normal Rockwell feel to it.

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